Baby Girl Morgan was born early on a Thursday morning at 440am. Julia and Jayson woke to a text message, picture image of a naked baby girl who lay red and crying and covered in a whitish film fresh from the birth canal. Another picture message a few minutes later when she was cleaner and swaddled. Caption, healthy. Another picture a few minutes later when Jess was holding her, caption read Layla Louann Morgan, 8 pounds 8 ounces, 22 inches long. She had light brown hair on her head. In fact she looked as similar to a mole rat as her dad. Julia nudged Jayson as she flipped back and forth between the three pics.
"Is Jess OK?" He asked.
"Uh, she must be." Julia answered, texting back a quick congrats and asking, 'How's mom?'
Julia crawled out of bed and readied for the day and when she came back to the bedroom, pushing aside the sheet they used for a door, she spied Jay texting.
"She's good. She's sore."
"I'm sure she is, Jayson. Did you see the size of the baby? She's as big as her dad."
"Not the prettiest baby, looking all like him." He muttered.
"Oh, not nice, Mister." Julia giggled as she sat on the edge of the bed. She glanced at the screen a moment and nudged him. "Get up so we can get our drug tests."
"Yes, ma'am. Then I plan on smoking a fat fuckin blunt with the new dad."
" I don't wanna blunt, but I'd like a fuckin drink." She frowned, looking over her shoulder. "Not a good idea." She argued under her breath with herself. Jay had a way of tuning out her comments. She and Fry had a habit of going rounds first thing in the morning. The two switched off interchangeably through out the day and without much warning. The blending of the two hadn't taken place yet-he doubted it ever would-and he could usually tell which one he was dealing with without much of a struggle. Julia Fry had a way about her, light and cute and open. Whenever she wasn't on her guard, distinctly quiet and always thinking, he knew who he was dealing with. Fry never thought or worried or fretted. In fact, Fry was a more fun version, an upgrade from the usual.
He set the phone aside and looked up at her where she stood next to their bed. "Any of you feel like sucking a dick?" He asked, laying his head back on the pillow and staring at the ceiling. While he waited for an answer, clearly seeing they were debating this, a picture message came through the phone. Julia clicked the message and saw the blunt on the cell screen and it's caption, don't forget to pick up MIB.
"He says get Ray. Wish I had a twin." Julia remarked, setting the phone down.
"You did till you killed her." Jay mumbled.
"And that's a no, Keller, so get out of bed." She glanced at the clock, folding her arms over her chest. "Get up, Jayson."
She sat in the waiting room and waited for Jayson and wondered why it took so long for him to piss in a cup. It took all of five seconds. Embarrassing, yes, because there was another human standing a few feet away as you urinated. It frightened her for a moment that he may have tried to pull with the county what he had tried to pull with the Mastro school. Ray had gone in and come out before Jay even got his pants unzipped. He had gone already and sat outside, paranoid that someone would know the difference between him and Chess. While Ray was at the county health office, Chess was home and probably asleep. He couldn't very well be in the hospital and at the county health office at the same time, at least he theorized.
She was ready and waiting for him, holding the phone in her hand as he approached from the hallway. He complained he couldn't pee right away with another person there. It made him very uncomfortable and he could barely unzip without feeling self conscious. Despite the fact it was a male that went in with him. She tried to tell him it wasn't a big deal. He technically peed alongside others all the time in public bathrooms, but it didn't matter. He even had a bladder full of 20 ounces of water.
He took a seat in the chairs, complaining he was dizzy and he didn't feel well. He asked her to wait, hold on a moment as he sat in his seat and drank more water from his bottle he had stashed in their bag. He took a few moments, then fished the keys from his pocket.
Ray waited by the car for them, sitting on the curb and watching the video of his room. Nothing as usual, but Candace laid out on his bed in a tee and sweats. Her hair, a reddish brown. She'd come around and dyed it a traditional color and she waved at him, smiling for the alien surveillance cam. Julia peeked over his shoulder, seeing the girl as happy as any other girlfriend on the planet. It'd been a couple months now.
"I love this girl." He said as he put Julia in the camera screen and Candace waved at her. "Julia, she's different." Ray said as Candace called out a happy 'hi, Julia!' through the web cam.
"Cool, Ray, I'm happy for you." She glanced at the phone screen. "Hello, Candace." She said dryly. Ray hopped off the curb and then got in the back seat of the car for the ride home.
Candace seemed to be happier than normal. Usually the girl didn't have much to say and when she did, had little inflection to her voice. Ray told her flat out that if she didn't perk up, his family wouldn't accept her. They worried, as Ray described, that she was too closed off, too morbid, too dismal, too strange. As the complaints mounted, Ray was baffled because he didn't see his girlfriend like that at all. He found her reserved, quiet, but intelligent and expressive and most of all supportive. Aside from all their common interests, he asked Candace to be more open.
"I asked her nice, you know, especially around my mother."
Julia raised her voice on that remark. "She shouldn't have to change anything about her to please anyone other than herself." She figured since she hadn't done so, then no one should. Integrity and self worth amounted more than another's point of view.
"No, no, no. I didn't ask her to change anything. I only asked her to open up more, talk more. I want you guys to see that side of her that I get to see."
"As long as she's not acting." Julia said, turning in the seat and looking back to the road. "What happened to the hair then?"
"Awe, she asked me to pick a color, so that's what I picked."
"Thanks." Jay added. "The colors of the rainbow were distracting. It's juvenile."
"She is a juvenile, Jayson." Julia reminded him.
"Oh, I'm legal." They heard through the phone from the rear seat. "Are you going to see the baby?"
"Um, I got something to do first with Chess, then we're going." Jay said to Candace over the seat.
"I would like to go."
"Ok, ok. Jess would like that." Ray said as he disappeared off the seat and onto the floor board of the car.
"Ray, come on, man. Up, get the seat belt back on."
"You saw them, Julia."
"Yep, stay down." She answered, unscrewing the cap from her water bottle. She spied Jay rolling his eyes as she took a long drink.
"Where?" Jay asked as he turned his head left to right and back. "You're Chess this morning, remember?"
"They-Julia, I refuse to explain this to him again." Ray whispered, peering over the back of her seat at him.
"Yeah, duh, Jay, right there." She pointed randomly through the windshield. "It's cool, they didn't see ya." Julia took Jay's hand in hers and held it. Why he had to constantly try to talk sense into Ray didn't make sense to her at all. Going with the delusion made more sense to her than trying to dissuade the delusional. A few years ago, not one of them believed Julia's delusion could walk the streets of Maverick, Lancaster or Philly. Their flip side held no weight in the world in which they lived and more recently, very few believed them. Why Jayson, Chess and everyone else around them had such a difficult time understanding this confused her. His delusions were merely delusions till someone else witnessed the delusions. All it took was a witness.
She glanced at her arm a moment to look at a rock that no longer took up space on the face of her hand. Witness..."You know, I would like my tattoo back." She said aloud. She glanced at her left arm and thought of a clawed and dismembered hand on her forearm. Dead and necrotic flesh with tattered clothes clinging to a living arm. She pulled her cell out and texted Kelly who was probably in school. Had she finished the drawing she'd requested? The girl created art in her sleep, planned on somehow making a living from it, but getting one single solitary sketch from her, she had to beg. She scrolled through the contact list and then texted Jody, hoping on the off chance he'd reply.
Jay pulled up to the curb and parked the car. Ray jogged away from the car toward the house and met with the auburn haired Candace on the doorstep. "You coming in or going with MIB?"
"In." She replied, watching them kiss on the Morgan front porch and then hold hands. She nudged Jay once on Jess's front step and motioned toward Ray and Candace. "Awe, Jay." She hummed.
"What?" He asked, stepping onto the porch and pushing through the front door.
"What?" She repeated. "Why'd we stop doing that? Remind me?"
He shoved his hand out and took hold of hers. "There. Better?" He asked sarcastically as he looked up the stairs. "Chess, yo. We're here." He yelled as he went to the fridge, pulling her through the house along with him by her hand. He reached on top of the fridge and took the rolled blunt toward the deck. "Chess, man. I'm firing this up. You smoking?"
"I'll be down in a minute." He yelled.
Julia tried separating hands, but he held her firm. "Why don't we do this anymore?" He asked, yanking her to him. He caught her and kissed her cheek. "Cause lately I'm a beggar not a romantic."
"I'm sorry, Jayson. Lemme go. I wanna text Kell." She took her hand back. She wasn't smoking and she didn't need to hang on the back deck in November, so she head back in the warm house.
Chess came down while she stood by the door texting. "Morning." He mumbled, kissing her cheek as he passed her for his hoodie off the back of the kitchen chair.
"Morning, daddy. You get some sleep."
"I will next year sometime around March from what I hear." He answered grumpily as he pulled a hoodie over his tee. "I'd rather be high than asleep anyways."
"Eh, not anymore." She mumbled as she waited for Kell's text back.
"If you smoke now and didn't for the rest of the month, you'd probably be alright." He commented as he slid the door open.
She blank stared him and thought about it. "I'd rather have 2 shots of vodka, Chess." She suggested hopefully. Although she wasn't really in the mood for it at 11am. Julia flipped through her phone while she waited for the two of them to smoke. The message tone dinged on Chess's cell and out of curiosity, she swiped and saw a voicemail from Jimmy Darth. She slid the door open and handed him his phone. "Jimmy." Chess moaned and then paled in color. "Where's Ray?" He asked, looking past Julia in the doorway.
"Home." Jay answered, letting a cloud of smoke exhale from his lungs.
"Why?"
Chess shook his head and looked anxious. He dialed his phone and he spoke, "Mommy, are you secretly dosing Ray with-" He quietly rattled off a list of drugs. They could hear Sandy responding and Chess groaned. "Ok, thanks." He replied as he then turned a deep red. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." He whined, taking the blunt from his cousin. "My drug test, he left before the results. Jimmy says my piss came back with benzo's in it."
"Oh, um, what does that mean exactly?"
"Ray's being dosed with meds by mommy farmhouse style."
"Oh, shit, so-"
"Re-test to confirm. The coke and the pot in my system are gonna fuck me." He replied. "I'm, um-probably gonna lose this job." He looked at the happy couple.
"Better call Jimmy." She shrugged, then turned and walked away. She wondered once again how she was the only drug free family member." He may be able to argue re-testing. But you, you're the one who didn't pass."
"Better call Jimmy." Jay repeated, leaning back in the seat. He kicked at the decking below his feet. "I stayed clean for this. It took everything I had in me." Jay said as he dragged on the blunt.
Chess laughed and rolled his eyes figuring he didn't truly need the Z SWAT gig to survive. But he'd have to explain to everyone why he was categorically unemployed. He and his cousin couldn't get any higher, so they stubbed the blunt and saved it for later. They came inside and and fixed themselves heaping bowls of sugary cereal. He ate and decided to call Jess, check on her and Layla. He wanted to know if she needed anything before making the drive there. "Just you, Daddy." She replied, sniffling in the phone. She was emotional. Hormones. "Love you, mama, see you soon." He then hung up.
"Who are you texting now?" Jay asked. Chess had been busy on his phone.
"Jason." Chess answered honestly as Julia made an exit, heading over to mommy's house to fetch Ray and Candace, say hello to everyone.
Jay'd seen enough of Jason from the gym for a lifetime. He kept his mouth shut while he ate though numerous questions coursed through his head. He'd never talked about Chess's sexuality with him. He'd seen plenty of the hetero version, but never the homo version and wasn't sure he even wanted to go there. He figured he could have his curiosity sated by asking Julia, but all she ever said was 'ask him, he'll tell you'. She accepted it, participated in it occasionally, but she didn't quite understand it herself.
"You alright, Jay?"
"Dizzy." He answered. "The weed maybe." He continued eating and half way through the bowl he couldn't finish it, so Chess helped him out, pouring what was left over in his own bowl.
"Not the weed. That's good weed." He commented as he texted and ate.
"I don't know. I just don't feel right today." He sat back and closed his eyes. "A headache." Chess rose from his seat with their dishes. He rinsed them and placed them in the sink and then pulled a pair of jeans from the same chair his hoodie had been on. Pulling jeans over his long john's, he spied Jay covering his eyes with the hood from his hoodie. The light was bothering him.
"Did you ever wanna be a girl?" Jay asked suddenly, catching Chess off guard with that question. All the questions he could have asked his cousin, that one slipped out before he could stop himself.
"No, Jay. You?"
"Maybe for a day. I'd be very unproductive. I'd sit around touching myself all fuckin day." He explained as he tried to weather the headache he suddenly developed. "But seriously, cause you fuck guys. Did you ever want a vagina? Be a-"
"Jay, what the fuck?" Chess asked seriously. "No." He was starting to get offended.
"Do you fuck them or do they fuck you or both?" He asked quickly. "Doesn't that hurt?"
"You wanna have this conversation now?" Chess replied with a chuckle as he pulled on his boots.
"How do you put a dick in your mou-"
"Jay, Jay-you're cutting right to the quick aren't ya, Jay?"
"Well, we talk about girls all the time and it's-are you the girl or is Jason?"
"I am not a girl. Jay, you're like insulting with this."
"Sorry, Chess. It's not like I mean to be. I think I'm trying to understand is all."
"Why does it make you uncomfortable?"
"It just does. It's-I couldn't imagine it."
"I always could imagine it. It's the opposite. And it feels good. All of it. A human body is a human body, male or female."
He shook his head. "You can get hard from a guy touching you."
"I can't explain it to you. The why is what you wanna know and I can't explain the why."
"Who took your virginity?"
"Hayley." He laughed.
"Speaking of Hayley-"
"I know about Hayley, and it was a guy named Tim."
"Not Ben?"
"Not Ben." He repeated for him. Why did everyone assume it was Ben? He wondered. "Remember when mommy and Nate had that blow out over him not coming home from college? They sent me and Ray up to that camp."
"I don't remember this and where was I?" Jayson asked.
"I don't know where you were, Jay. Maybe you were with your own mom for once." He answered, swiping his cell and his wallet off the table. "But I do know it's the only time I ever saw my mom completely fucking lose it. Next thing I knew, me and Ray were going to camp. I was just getting in good with Hayley and they send me to camp." He recalled. "I think it was my dad's idea. Sent us up there with a bunch of fucking fat, ugly kids. Like fat camp. And no fucking girls either. Me and Ray ain't fat, never have been. Ugly maybe, so we fit in. Ray loved every minute of it. The outdoors, the activities."
"So you fucked a kid at fat camp." Jay droned as he rubbed his temples.
"Yes and no." He replied, tapping out a text message to Jason about meeting up later on. He'd missed Wednesday at the gym and their usual hook up post gym because of the incident and then the baby. He scrolled through his emails, then set a reminder to fill out the incident report.
"Ray knew about this?"
"From day one," He replied honestly. "Only cause we're twins and dumb ass Tim got us mixed up. If not for genetics, Ray wouldn't know."
"Ok, and-"
"And what?" Chess asked as Julia came back in the house. The two looked like they'd been caught and quieted down.
"What? What are you up to?" She asked suspicious of them.
"Fat camp."
"Fuck camp maybe." She mumbled, grabbing her pack off the floor as Ray came inside with Candace.
"What's up? We leaving?" Ray asked.
"Talking about fat camp, Ray." Jay told him, sliding the hood off his head and eyes.
"That boyfriend of yours played grab ass with me."
"Boyfriend." Candace repeated confused.
"He's bi." Jay said to Candace, tossing the keys to Ray. "You drive. My head hurts."
"Still?" Julia asked, feeling his forehead.
"Yeah, still. Ruining my high, too." He replied. "I think I got sunglasses in the car. My eyes hurt, like a pressure."
"Oh, does Jess know?"
"Yes, Candace." Chess answered.
"You still dizzy?" Julia asked Jay, looking more concerned now that he was still complaining.
"I didn't know. Do your parents know? Should I keep quiet about it?"
"It's only a headache." Jay replied to Julia.
"I told dad. I don't know if he told mommy. Kinda left that up to him." Chess answered, thinking his mother could be cruel sometimes.
"A long headache, Jayson. Why's the light bothering you?"
"You know what? I am getting a headache too, so can we-" He motioned to the door, ushering them all out. Too many conversations and it all veered off course with talk of fat camp. He wasn't in the mood to un-closet himself to the entire family in one sitting. Since when did his sexuality matter to anybody? "Layla, people. I wanna see Layla." And Jason...he thought quietly to himself. The sooner the day starts, the sooner the day ends, and I finish with Jason Petrillo.
