Jesslyn was in a mood and not necessarily a good one. Chess took her home, sat at her kitchen table with her and went through all the bills. The girl had never paid a bill in her life and he had to remind himself that she had only recently graduated high school. No one teaches useful things like bill paying in high school or inside any other form of higher education. He set a laptop in front of them and he went online to all the institutions that she owed money. Louann was still in the dark ages, paying her bills with paper checks placed in envelopes and applying stamps from the post office to those envelopes. Chess had paid many bills, but never on paper. So he logged into all the accounts and linked accounts to the bank account and then instructed Jess how to pay these bills in an electronic form. No checks, no stamps and no post office. It was one of the most modern conveniences ever created.
He had already consulted with a tax professional in regards to the inheritance tax she'd be paying on her suburban home. By the time Jess got done setting aside money for that and paying bills and debts, she about broke even. He had taken the reins from his mom and would help her out from then on. Her mood hadn't improved after they paid everything off. There would still be next month and the month after that and no source of income. He reassured her he was there as a friend and resource and not to worry. They'd figure something out.
"You wanna sell your house, Jess?" He asked her seriously. "Then what?"
The way he saw it, selling her house made no sense to him at all. She owned it outright. She had monthly bills to pay, some insurance and she had a roof over her head and Layla's head. It was safe in a good neighborhood with decent schools. His parents were right across the street and he was never too far from her. He hated seeing her crying and worrying. Is this what it would be like taking care of her? He didn't want to speculate and he didn't want to worry about it for one more minute. What with his Motel 6 residence, he was as unsure as Jess what direction he should take and he told her as much.
"Why are you at the Motel 6?"
"It's really cheap thanks to your dad." He told her. He also couldn't fathom why she was upset that her dad was dead. He and Julia were not and that case was as dead as their castrated victim.
"I was thinking about him, Chess. I wonder what he wanted to tell me."
"Maybe he wanted to say he was sorry for ruining your childhood? Maybe he wanted to say he ruined any future relationship you would ever have."
"Ours was ok. The one I had with Jay was ok."
"And all the other ones?" He asked her as he stood up and started putting all the papers and the electronics away.
"What other ones?"
"That's the point, Jesslyn. What other ones?"
"Look at me. Look, Chess. Who wants me now, Chess?"
"I do." He answered, opening the fridge. He started tossing rotten and spoiled food. He pulled out something from the freezer to defrost. "Anyway, wanna think about what to do with your mom's stuff? We have a limited amount of time to get ready for Lay and we should think about it now."
Since the world hadn't ended and wasn't about to end any time soon, life needed to move forward. Plan B was temporarily on hold, but plan A needed to resume course. For her that meant school and getting ready for Layla. Keeping her mom's things and not living under her own roof was not resuming life. Louann's things all needed to be boxed up and donated or thrown away. The rooms needed to be rearranged. Jess's room needed to be readied for a baby girl. His mind roamed the house from the vantage point of the kitchen and he looked out the back door to the pool. "Hey, that thing right there." Chess smiled, sliding the door open. He stepped onto the wooden deck and saw green water. He dialed his dad as he plugged in the filter and he asked his dad point blank how to make the green pool water blue again.
"Actually, Chester, pool water is clear, not blue." He laughed. But his dad told him. He looked around for the pool supplies and he added chemicals. He left it run and later he would vacuum it and then swim in it. It would take a few hours of waiting but he'd get that pool up and running in no time. He stood in grass that was half a foot high and started looking around for a lawn mower, then he cut the grass and cleaned it all up before moving to the front yard. He spent a couple hours in the late August heat making the yard look decent.
"Chess," Jesslyn called him from the deck by the pool.
"Yep, what's up?"
"Wanna move in?" She asked him as he pushed the mower into the small shed in the rear of the yard.
"In here? With you?"
"That's what move in means."
"Like a couple and raise Lay?" He asked, leaning on the edge of the pool. He reached into the water and it didn't burn his skin off, so he splashed some on his face and hair. He'd told her a bunch of times how he was and what he thought and what life would be like if she got with him. "Um, I don't know." He replied. It would be better than Motel 6, room 10, but he had planned on going back home once Jess moved out of his room and bed. Co-sleeping with another person in a twin sized bed was uncomfortable.
"But if you're taking care of us, Chess, I want you to know you could stay here. That's all."
She looked hurt, looked disappointed and rejected.
"Is that what you want? I don't want you to feel like you owe me anything, baby girl."
"I know. I don't-"
"Jess, have you thought about it? Really." He asked her, glancing at her baby bump. "Is it you or your hormones talking?"
"I think it's me. We take care of each other, don't we?" She asked him, stepping closer to the pool's edge and sitting on a chair. "Doesn't only go one way last I checked."
"Ok, Julia," He laughed, thinking she sounded just like her.
"I'm serious. Why else would you be here? It's not our occasional sex life. It's not the pool." She laughed, pointing toward the ever clearing water. "So what is it?"
"A promise I made a long time ago."
"We. We made a long time ago."
"Have you been talking to wifey?" He asked, climbing the steps to her. He sat next to her.
"No, I haven't. I can think for myself, and I think that makes sense."
"Wanna have sex?" He asked her out of the blue. He figured that may have something to do with the invitation to cohabitate, but as he was starting to feel like a whore, he didn't care. But he definitely didn't want to make her feel like one.
"Eh, nah, I can live without it." She shook her head and started laughing. She nodded her head toward the water. "If it wasn't for that pool, Chess, then where would we be?"
"Hey, it was hot and you were cute." He said, taking her hand in his. "Jess, I would like to think we'd be sitting here in the exact same way."
"Awe, that's sweet, Chess." She squeezed his hand and stood up, heading inside to make dinner. The boneless chicken had partially defrosted and she microwaved it to defrost it the rest of the way before seasoning it and placing it in the oven.
"You can cook, too."
"Of course." She said, pulling a box of pasta off the shelf. She set it aside and pulled a can of string beans off the shelf. "You don't have to stay. You can go." She told him as he sat at the table and played on his phone. He planned on vacuuming that pool before he left, if he left at all. He had no specific place to go other than mommy's or the Motel 6. He had taken care of the last job and he checked the bank account, which indicated the money was transferred into it, making him a lot richer. He had calls to make, but he wanted his other phone out of the truck.
"Gonna be alright here?"
"Yeah, sure. I will start going through her clothes and stuff. I'll pack it up. Can you run the stuff to Goodwill?"
"Sure." He said over his phone. "Leave it on the porch and I will grab it and take it over there."
"Ok."
"I'm gonna run to the truck a minute."
"Just go home, Chess."
"I thought you were gonna feed me." He said, looking over her shoulder at the counter. He'd done enough yard work for a chicken dinner, he believed. "Ok, Jesslyn. Whatever." He mumbled and kissed her on her head. "I'll be across the street, then. I love you."
He went home and made his calls with the cell he had stashed in the truck. He continued his newfound landscaping skills on his parents front lawn and back lawn and then sat and had a beer with his dad on his own deck overlooking his work. His mom fed him meatloaf and mashed potatoes on the deck. He looked at the pool while he explained the afternoon to his dad. Jess's mood and that she had suggested he move in with her.
"She say move in or stay till you find a place to live?" Dad asked.
"I think she said move in."
"Do what's right for you and her and my granddaughter." His dad said.
"Alright, dad." Chess said, finishing his beer. He tossed the bottle in the recycle bin and looked at the pool. "How long should that filter run? What if it sets the house on fire?"
"Not gonna set the house on fire, Chess."
"How do you know?"
"Cause it's not in or near the house." He replied. "If you want to go back, then go back to her."
"I wanna vacuum the pool and swim in it." Chess said. "I'll go do that. I'm hot."
"There's a pool right there, Chess." He pointed it out across the yard.
Chess pulled another beer from the fridge and met up with Candace as he head out for Jess's house. "Hey, girl. How are you?" He asked as he turned, watching Candace walk in the house.
"Hey," She mumbled back at him.
He had no idea what Ray saw in the girl. She was an odd duck for sure and he thought his brother could do so much better. There wasn't one specific thing that Chess could focus on as a deterrent to Candace Polk. She was quiet and distant and didn't seem to be the friendliest girl in the world. Chess questioned whether Candace was truly 21. She and Ray had met in the bar and they had hit it off, talking and he suspected Candace had a few issues of her own. She was only 5'5, a little chubby around the midsection, but her ass was out of this world. The ass was such a distraction from the rest of her, sort of flat on top and she had a literal rainbow of hair on her head, shaved around the sides and long on top. Pale white and a nice smile, brown eyes. She was quite the sight to see, a peacock of sorts, she had dyed her hair since he last laid eyes on her, a layering of different shades of blue. "Hair looks great, Candace." He remarked as she disappeared inside the house. Each time he saw her, he tried like hell to find her attractive. She was also socially awkward, not a talker. Very soft spoken. The outside didn't match the inside, Chess thought. Superficially, Candace didn't look the part she portrayed. Mom didn't approve. Mom didn't have much to say and her lack of comment indicated she was still in shock and she was holding back and hoping that Candace was a passing phase. He had tried to talk with Ray about her, but all Ray said was 'don't make fun of her." He hadn't intended on making fun of her.
Candace closed his own front door in his own face and he turned his focus from the door to the short walk across the street to Jess's house. He went through the back and he vacuumed the pool while he drank his beer, then swam around alone awhile, letting the water calm him. He hopped out of the pool and sat on the edge, letting the water drain off him. He had no towel. He kicked his legs in the water and he wrung out his shorts best he could till it got dark outside and the bugs started buzzing.
"Having fun?" She asked him through the kitchen window, which was open above the deck.
"Feels good, the water." He answered.
"Thanks for cleaning it." She closed the window on him.
Moody. Was he supposed to fix her? Was he supposed to decipher what her problem was and react somehow? Was she still depressed and was she scared about everything she faced in front of her? Probably all of the above, but he knew he didn't like her tone of voice and that she got short with him and the fact she had put him out altogether. Maybe she wanted to be left alone?
"Ok..." Chess sighed as he looked over his shoulder at the kitchen window. He pulled wet feet from the pool and he slid the door open. He didn't step inside because he was wet. "What's your problem?" He asked her very simply and hoped for the answer he felt he deserved. She was taking out on him whatever she had going through her head. He didn't like it when Jess tried acting like Julia to get what she wanted. She didn't have to.
"Nothing." She answered, tying up a white trash bag at the bottom of her steps. She wore white shorts that were a size too small and her belly popped over top of them. Her white tee didn't quite cover her belly either.
"Leave it. I'll get it." He told her. "Jess, what's wrong?"
"Nothing." She raised her voice to him and she stomped the stairs.
"You're acting immature, honey. I am the easiest person to get along with, but this mood is annoying as fuck."
"Annoying as fuck." She screamed at him as she rolled several white bags from the top of the stairs to the bottom. She stomped back down the stairs. "I'm annoying as fuck."
"No, not what I said. What did I do, Jess? You're fucking mad at me and I didn't do anything. I get that you got a million reasons to be hating, but me?" She stepped over the bags and she handed him a letter off the top of her fridge. "What's this?" He opened the envelope and he read over the paperwork inside of it. "Oh," He stepped inside the kitchen and slid the door shut behind him. He locked it behind him. "Um, Jess, this is-"
"I can read."
"Um, this is a porn site, Jesslyn." He held back laughter as Jess was now the proud owner and operator of a large and profitable internet porn site. "Um, Jess, have you looked-"
"No!" She shouted. "I couldn't bring myself to do it."
"Well, I can." He said under his breath as he pulled out his phone. "We need to drive to Baltimore." He said, his brain churning with dollar signs. "This means you can take care of yourself, honey. This means you can pay for school and this house. You don't have any worries. There are people in place that take care of-"
"Chester." She muttered. "This is nasty. This is disgusting."
"This is a payday, Jesslyn." He corrected her.
"It's dirty." She commented, pointing at the phone he held in his hand. Chess brought up the site and it was similar in nature to pornhub, but there were members paying "21.95 a month for pussy and dick." He scrolled through the free preview, clicking on a particular fetish, 'redheads'. He doubted red head was a particular fetish, rather a preference, but he scrolled on through a million videos and...he stopped on one in particular. He hit play and viewed while he listened to Jess rant about her second estate in the span of a month.
Jesslyn, her mood was brought on by being the internet porn site owner and operator, CEO extraordinaire. Her father had left his assets and business and everything that he owned to her. He couldn't see her or molest her or get within 100 yards of her according to a restraining order that he willfully violated on the day they laid Louann to rest. Jess sat atop a fortune in Baltimore, Maryland. A home, cars, property, business pursuits. All of it rest on her shoulders. She was confused and had no idea what to do with all of it and she also had no clue whether she even wanted it. Did she deserve it?
"Jess, you deserve it." He said, sitting on her kitchen table and scrolling through endless porn. A bottomless pit of redheads. She went to the laundry room and threw him a towel. "Hey, I'll have that lawyer look into this too, I guess." He set the paperwork down on the table and sat back looking at the phone screen. He wondered briefly how this business worked. No matter what way they looked at it, Jess just got a lot richer. Her choices and options just blew up. She didn't have to worry about anything ever again. She had her childhood stolen from her thanks to dear old dad. He'd made a mess of her life and Louann's. She deserved every asset he had and then some.
"What on earth am I going to do with an internet porn site?"
"Watch it for right now." He replied as his eyes glued to the screen. She peeked around his phone and saw what he watched. Two girls. He got hold of her and sat her on the towel in his lap as the girls on screen went to town on each other. She watched quietly, making no comment or observation till he switched off to another video.
"That's kinda gross, Chess."
"Oh, please, nothing you haven't done." He reminded her.
"Yeah, well, where is she, Chess?" She walked off to the livingroom where she rolled bags toward the door. "She hasn't touched me since she ran off and married Jayson. I'm always someone's second fucking choice."
"She's not into you like that anymore, Jess." He argued with her. "You weren't my second choice for that matter."
"I came a close second to the pool, Chess."
"You're wetter and deeper than any pool. That was virgin pussy, baby."
"Technically, it was not."
"I have explained this to you. It was love Jess, not some sick perverted act against you."
"That's all boys want. The sick and perverted stuff. It's nasty. You were the only person who ever kept his hands to himself until I let you, you know."
"That can't be true."
"Other than Jay, yeah it is true. No one wants to date and get to know someone anymore. No one treats a girl nice nowadays. It's all hands and groping right away."
"Who did that to you?" Chess set his phone down.
"Guys, Chess. They ask you out and before you even get anywhere, they're touching you and-"
"Who did that to you?"
"All of them. When they get set straight, when you set limits, they never talk to you again."
"I'm sorry, Jess. I didn't-I don't do that do I?"
"No," She said as she stepped on the stairs. "Um, I got a lot done. I'll have the rest tomorrow sometime." She climbed up the stairs and left him sitting in her kitchen.
"Jess, do you want me to stay with you?" He asked from the bottom of the stairs. He started putting the bags on the front porch for morning. He'd run them to the goodwill when he went out. "Jesslyn, are you mad at me now?" He asked as he turned off the kitchen light. "You lack communication skills." He mumbled. "You have to tell me what you fucking want. I don't read minds and I don't wanna play games with you, Jesslyn."
"You say things to me to fuck me. You said them when you were inside me and then you do all these good things for me and then you just completely change. I am not the problem here. You are." She yelled at him as she looked down the stairs at him. "I'm afraid to say anything because you might get mad and leave me and you won't help me and I don't know what to do with all this stuff. I need help. I-" She quieted. "Fuck it all, just sell everything and I will go away and live by myself and I will take care of Layla and I can do it. My mom did. So just leave me."
"I don't wanna hurt you, Jess. I already explained-Leave you? I am not going anywhere."
"You take me to bed, tell me you love me and then tell me..." She sat on the top step and cried. "You can't say those things and then the next day or week or whatever do the opposite." She gathered herself for a moment and she looked down at him as he waited. "I got enough fucking problems. Don't add to them."
"I'm not trying to."
"Then don't hold my fucking hand or sit me on your lap or come up on me and hold me and quit comforting me when I cry. It's like fake."
"No, it's not. I mean every word I say and everything I do. I don't wanna leave you alone and -"
"You left me alone plenty. You live across the street and you never once asked how I was. You never called me or stopped by. One fucking weekend with you and you go and get into all these feelings. You became this totally different guy and paid attention to me and called me and like all of this for what?" She yelled at him. "Because of Layla." She yelled. She stood up and backed into the hallway. "I hate that name by the way. And I have a doctor appointment in a couple days. So, I guess, just call me or somethin'." She wandered away and slammed her bedroom door shut, leaving him at the base of the stairs.
"Jess," He called. Dammit...this girl went and caught feelings. I did this. "Jess," He climbed the stairs and he stood outside her bedroom door. "I'm sorry, Jess." He didn't even know why he was apologizing. "You don't like the name Layla?" He asked, leaning against the door.
"No, stupid fucking song too."
"Ok, well how about Kyra? Like that one better?"
"Yes, that has a nice ring to it."
"Bella. I like the name Bella like from Twilight."
"Kyra Bella Morgan." He said through the door. "Ok, that's nice too." He paused. "You can have your way. It doesn't all have to be me, Jess. You can speak up if you don't like or want something."
"Ok." She answered. She was still crying. She was allowed to cry and have her fits and yell as much as he was. He didn't understand, but he did understand.
"Jess, I-uh-I'm into guys, you know."
"So fucking what. I like girls."
"You like one girl."
"Same thing."
"I might want to see a guy once in awhile."
"So. I might wanna fuck Julia once in awhile."
"So if I agreed to no other girls, but was allowed once in awhile to fuck a guy, is that ok?" Why are we having this conversation? He asked himself. "If we talked about it first and-"
"I wanna fuck Julia."
"Then fuck Julia." He said through the door. I wanna fuck Julia, too... "I can't be fucking with Julia though. That's not a good idea and you'd need to talk to them about it and you can't fuck him." He thought a moment. "And we need to cover up that name, put a flower over it or something. I can't stand looking at his name there, Jess. It's just weird."
"I explained that to you, Chess. And Julia is on your back."
"That is not Julia. For the love of God, it's not her." He stood outside her bedroom door, literally talking to the wall. "What are you doing?"
"I'm laying down. I'm going to sleep, but you're still talking." She said. "Hey, lock up when you leave, please. If you'd like a key, then you can have my mom's."
"Oh, well, ok." He sighed, stepping away from the door.
"Chess," She called as he was going to head back down the steps.
"What?"
"Did you kill my dad?" The million dollar question. Her voice echoed soft through the upstairs to him on the steps. "And don't tell me you were at the house. That was Ray, Chess. I know the difference between you and your brother. I'm not dumb." She replied. She was suspicious. "I covered for you."
She covered for him. She knew. He could trust her. "Wanna know what went down or are you cool with what you know already?"
"Why? That's the only question I have." She said as she opened the door a little and peeked at him in the hall.
"He hurt you."
"He ruined me for every future relationship I will ever have."
"Not what I meant. We talked about this. We all-"
"All? All three of you-"
"No." He shook his head. "Two of us. We discussed this a long time ago." Chess told her, holding onto the handrail. "As usual, we won't bring it up, only when you want to."
"K." She said, her voice a whisper.
"Do you want to?" He asked, hoping she'd say no. He hated when she talked about it, but he'd listen. Jess didn't usually talk about what had happened to her and the few times she did it had been an unpleasant account of the events from her childhood. Julia was much better suited for listening to her when she needed someone to lean on. Listening made his skin crawl, had served only to make him angry, but Jess had lived completely helpless through all of it.
"I have been thinking about it a lot." Since her mother had died so violently and then he had appeared so suddenly and out of the blue. All the local news reports on TV did nothing but drudge up memories for her about a time that she chose not to dwell on and actively think about. Jess had chosen to move past it, let the past stay where it belonged. Now that she didn't have Louann, who did she have? She only discussed it with three people, the people she had trusted and been closest to. In fact he had been the first person she trusted with her past, then Julia and then Jayson. Outside that small circle, she hadn't talked about her past in depth with anyone else. "You said we should go back there."
"Even if you don't want any of it, you still have to deal with it."
"I know. I know, but we just finished dealing with this and now I have to ask you to go through it all over again."
"I will. It's only the matter of a few phone calls. I don't know what I'm doing either, so you don't have to do it by yourself, you know. It's not like you got a lot of help and I got the time. I can make the time."
"You're busy though. Doing what I have no clue, but you got your own life, Chess."
"You and Layla, I mean Kyra, are part of my life. Even if you didn't have the baby, I would still help you out. Long before we had a baby in there, we talked and hung out. Jess, I don't know what you want from me."
"It's like you're hiding something."
"I'm not though."
"What do you do when you leave here and go away? What's in Philly? A guy or a girl or-"
"Work, Jess."
"What job is it that you have? Start there."
He was hesitant. What he did for a living, he didn't go around putting on display. He couldn't. It was all illegal. It was all cash based. "Awe, shit, Jess, do you really wanna know?" Did she want to know that what he and Julia did to her father, he did to a lot of other fathers. How does one explain his job description without self incriminating? Would Jess view it as taking society's trash out to the curb like he and Julia did. Would she understand putting drugs on the streets and into addicts hands? He could barely justify it and explain it to himself most days, but he was supposed to drop info into her head and expect her to go on about her day and life and not think less of him or possibly be frightened of him?
"See, that is exactly what I mean." She closed the door on him and reminded him to lock up when he left.
He was still wet from the pool and cold from the AC, so he chose to leave. He took Louann's house key as she directed him to do and when he was getting it out of Louann's purse, he saw Layla, or Kyra, Bella or whatever the baby's name would be. Her ultrasound picture lay in the purse and he thought about what his dad said. Do the right thing for all of them. He hung the ultrasound picture on the fridge and he went home, locking up behind him.
He showered, got changed into dry clothes, grabbed his bottle of whiskey from his dresser top and took a drink, then another. He texted her to see if she was still awake and he didn't get a reply. He went looking for Ray who wasn't in his room and he then went further looking for him in the basement and he wasn't there either.
"Mom, where is Ray?"
"With Rainbow Brite." She responded dryly, wine glass in hand.
"Mom, when you got with dad," He paused and thought about the right question to ask her. "Did you think it would last?"
"I had no intention of anything lasting with your dad, because I didn't plan on being with your dad."
That was a surprise. "Oh."
"Till that woman pissed me off."
"What woman?"
"Your grandmother, Chess. I left and my friend let me stay with her."
"Oh, what?" He asked confused.
"My friend had a brother named John." She motioned to the living room where his dad watched TV.
"Oh, Aunt Deb."
"Yes, I never paid him any mind. He was that boy."
He hated when his mom drank. She made no sense. No woman made any sense to him. "That boy, mom, what's that even mean?"
"Like a brother, I guess. We all grew up together. I have known him all my life because of Aunt Deb."
"So move forward in time."
"I got pregnant with Nathan."
"Move back in time."
"Chess, we got pregnant. We moved out of his parents house, we had Nate, we had you and Ray, we moved and here we are." She explained. "I lived with Aunt Deb for four months. I started spending quality time with your father as opposed to your aunt and here we are."
"There's like four other brothers, why him?"
"I wasn't interested in any of them either." She shrugged. "So ask your father, why me?" She looked around Chess to the dark living room lighted by a flickering TV. "Why me, John?"
"You're the only girl who let me." He replied from the sofa.
"And here we are." Sandy smiled.
"Gonna let me tonight?" He called over the sound of the TV.
Chess chose to ignore his dad's question of his mom and asked her, "How do you choose if she ain't the only girl who will let you?"
"Where are all these girls, Chester, that will let you?"
"Oh, they're everywhere. There's a world full of them." He answered.
Sandy drank the last swallow of wine from her glass. She was never one for deep conversations and explanations. She always just rolled with the punches, took what life gave her and their family and handled it, weathered it and drank through it. "I know you don't know what you're doing." She said, pushing the chair back away from the table. "You'll figure it out eventually."
"But-"
"Chester, asking these questions won't make a difference and my answers won't make a difference. You're just gonna do what you want anyway as usual." She walked to the sink and rinsed the wine glass, then put the bottle in the fridge. "Chess, you're at the age where you're thinking about you, but you went and made a baby. When you do that, life is no longer about you."
"I realize that."
"Are you sure? Do you have any idea what it means to take care of a family?"
"Yes, I think I do." Chess answered, his mind reflecting back to a farm house on the flip side. In terms of reality, the modern world with all its conveniences, he hadn't navigated that yet. Taking care of a family, being responsible for people outside the realm of himself, was hard work and he believed harder work than in this modern world.
"Then what's your fuckin problem?" His mom raised her voice at him.
"San, San, he's a kid." His dad said, coming out of the living room.
"He thinks he knows everything."
"Mommy, I-"
"Gonna tell you the same thing I told your cousin a couple years back-Grow up, take care of your responsibilities."
Cousin? She must have meant Tavin. "Alright, mom. Ok. I will. I am."
Chess thought it best to quiet down before his mom chose to go off. He could see plain as day he was pushing her there. If he didn't shut up, he'd get a lecture and before he knew it she'd yell at him and then he'd argue with her and she'd smack him. Mom liked to hit him to get her point across from time to time.
"Night, mommy. Thanks." Chess said, heading her off at the pass.
His dad and mom left the kitchen and went down the hall to their room. He made himself a sandwich and he could hear them talking then quieting in their room over the sound of the TV in the living room. As he stood at the counter and took a bite of his turkey on rye, he thought about what he was going to do. He already knew he would wind up living with Jesslyn and doing exactly what his dad and mom did their entire lives, make a home, raise their kids. When he had told Jess he'd take care of her, he couldn't put limits on what taking care meant. It made him nervous. He'd have to make excuses and be accountable for himself and his actions and the things he did. As he ate his sandwich, he listened as his parents made love down the hall. For once that didn't make him feel uncomfortable. He thought it was kind of cool.
He had listened to them go at it for his entire life. They never hid the fact they went to bed together. When him and Ray were little kids, they used to sit and listen to them. As he and Ray got older, the eavesdropping eventually stopped because it was so normal they didn't even pay them any mind. Through his parents entire marriage, when his dad was not on the road in the truck, they went to bed the same time every night. They were definitely more active when he was younger. Whatever they did behind that closed bedroom door, they never brought outside the bedroom. His mom was never one to be touched or held or kissed on. They didn't even hug and kiss hello and goodbye. Mom was distant like that. He never knew why or understood it. She was always kind of cold toward him and his brothers too, lacking affection.
Mommy never lacked attention though, always there and if they needed her, she was right there and they never had to beg or plead for her to make herself available. Mom was everybody's mom. The only person mommy had ever hugged and loved in a motherly fashion had been Jayson. She'd been motherly to Ray when he was little, but Ray was always on her and needy. Jay, on the other hand was always in distress on some level when he was little. He'd never seen anyone cry as much as Jay and he had never seen his mother love or comfort anyone as much as she had Jayson. Where Ray had demanded her attention and love because he was her kid, Jay never did. She gave it willingly.
Chess had always gravitated toward his dad. He'd openly talked to dad and never hid anything. He'd always encouraged that, welcomed that from all his sons.
Nate...Chess thought about his eldest brother. What the hell had happened to Nate then? Where the hell was he and why didn't his brother ever come home or keep in touch or care about them? Once Nate graduated from high school, he left and never came back. He was smart and athletic. He studied hard, always had a girl with him, and he never gave a fuck about anything other than school and baseball. He had always been obsessed with his grade point average, getting 'out of this dead end town and away from these fucking people'. What the hell happened with Nate that made him do everything humanly possible to leave Maverick and never look back or speak to any of them ever again always played on Chess's brain. He'd never been close with Nate, always closer to Ray without question. The 5 year age difference didn't help much. When Nate left, he never looked back, never called or stopped by. In fact, Chess didn't even know his phone number, his address or anything personal about him.
His thoughts were distracted when the phone rang. He answered it, seeing it was Jess. "What's up?"
"Someone's in the house." She whispered, her voice signaled fear.
"What?" He asked, chewing up the last bite of turkey on rye. He had a hard time believing someone was in her house. He'd locked up. He grabbed his keys and unlocked the truck in the driveway and on his way outside, keeping Jess on the phone, he pulled his gun from under the seat. "Lock yourself in your room. I'll check." He walked calmly, gun in hand, toward her house, eyes scanning the front of the house as he walked. He saw flash light beams inside. "Call 911." He said, then disconnected and shoved the phone in his pocket. As he stepped on the front porch, his heart rate picked up a bit, but he maintained his calm. He hated living people. He had just thought earlier that they were in a safe damn neighborhood and they could raise their kid in that house and Layla-Kyra-Bella would be as untouched as he had ever been as a child. Nothing sinister ever happened on his block, there was never any crime in his neighborhood. There was never...until tonight...as the door was ajar. He had locked that door. He was sure of it and he saw clearly someone had jimmied it open with some instrument. Regardless, he went inside, weapon raised and he aimed at no one in particular. No one was downstairs. Quiet and relaxed, he made his way up the carpeted steps. Jess had locked herself in her room like he said, and their was a lamp on in Louann's room. He didn't hesitate to step inside and he fully intended on killing whoever invaded his girl's privacy and space. His girl...my girl...my daughter... He felt quite cop like as he aimed the gun at the intruder. A kid all of 17 or so stood oblivious to his presence over the dresser and he had his hands on a jewelry box.
"Hands up. Don't move." Chess said calmly.
The light skinned black kid about jumped out of his skin and he turned rather slowly toward Chess. Hands up. His flashlight was on the dresser. Kid had thought he was alone. "Don't shoot, man." He said as he saw the glock aimed at his head. Chess never went for the chest, always the head and Louann's cheap ass jewelry was not worth losing his dome for. Louann's cheap ass jewelry wasn't worth killing the kid for either.
Chess kept the gun trained on the kid who said nothing. "Jess, come out." He ordered. Her bedroom door creaked open a bit. "Go outside."
"Please, man, don't shoot me."
Jess scurried past the door and down the steps and outside as she was ordered. Chess didn't kill kids and he didn't kill intruders, but he wanted to. The kid was clearly unarmed. He held the gun on the kid, waiting for the cops. "You clearly chose the wrong house." Chess said to him. He hadn't planned on killing the kid, only holding him till the police arrived. They appeared to be taking their time. Chess wondered what would have happened when the kid got to Jess's room and he didn't want to think about it. The kid shifted his weight, from one foot to another and started lowering his hands. "Don't test me, kid. I will kill you." He wasn't getting paid for this, so he held back the bullet that he could have fired into the kid's head. He wanted to, but the kid was not a threat to him or anyone else. The flashing red, white and blue lights alerted the kid he was caught and was going to jail. He heard the police, eyes looking out the window at the patrol car on the street. Chess never moved his eyes or the gun off him.
Officer Swigget knew who he was and when the officer entered the room, he bypassed Chess and he took the kid into custody. Chess lowered his weapon and set it on the dresser. Swigget knew the gun was legal and that Chess owned it. Chess went out and found Jess on the sidewalk, crying as she spoke with another officer. This event brought out the entire street, its people still on edge from the incident a few weeks ago. As the patrol cars pulled away and the street dimmed back to only street lights people dispersed back into their houses.
He stood with Jess in the living room of her house and held her as she cried. When it rains, it pours and she was going on about the door that was broken and why would that kid want anything from her house. She was scared that there would be more of them coming. Her intruder's name was Alonso Miles and it turned out that the kid had figured the house was still empty. He had known Jess from high school but she didn't know him. He had known that the incident had shut down the street and further that no one was staying there. He saw an opportunity to rob an empty house that turned out to be an occupied house. It was an isolated incident it seemed and Chess told her as much as he shoved the door shut. He had popped the door lock, but the dead bolt was still functional. Chess had not locked that one. He didn't have a key for that one.
"Jess, it's over. Nothing is missing and no one got hurt." He explained, rationalizing this for her. But she was still scared. "You need your own gun, baby. You know how to-" She gave him a most unsavory look and he quieted. Too soon for the gun debate they would eventually have. She cried and paced and talked about being unsafe. But what was safe? Depending on how one looked at the subject of safe. Chess had some very clear cut views on personal safety. That's why she called him. She could have called 911 first and then him second, but she knew he could and would take care of whatever was in the house without hesitation. He was also closer.
"Why didn't you kill him?" She asked.
"No need for that. He wasn't armed. He was a kid, looking for a quiet and quick pay day."
"But-"
"I think I made the right decision, Jesslyn. Can't kill everybody." He explained. It made sense to him. "Jess, I can kill him. Do you want me to find him when he gets released and shoot him? I will, but I don't think it's necessary." He paused. "Jess, he was a fucking kid."
"What if-"
"No 'what if's'." Chess raised his voice, putting air quotes around the 'what if's'. Chess only dealt with facts and he went with his gut. "I choose who and when I kill someone. He didn't need to die over some cheap jewelry and a mistake."
"If he was hurting me though."
Chess sighed loudly. "Different story, baby. Stop this. You're only getting more worked up."
On that note she screamed. Not necessarily any words or any statements, just a scream, which startled him. Thankfully she didn't have anything to throw or she may have. He began to wonder whether the wife had rubbed off on her. Thanks to her high moral standards and her very sane brain, she reeled herself in and calmed down. It had been a long time since he had lived with Jesslyn and it was obvious at that moment her true self had been revealed if only in the slightest form. Well, this should be interesting...he thought, locked into life with a little frustrated screamer. He wondered how often she did that? What were the little weird personality quirks she had hidden? Were there more? Was she being on her best behavior for him? How much could she handle before she broke down and screamed? Chess took a seat on her sofa and it was clear he wasn't going anywhere for awhile.
"Go back to bed, Jess." He mumbled, reaching for the remote.
"Don't tell me what to do." She stood with her hands on her hips.
He set the remote down. He thought about his parents. He thought about what his mom said about taking care of a family. He had dug his hole and he may as well climb in it and lay down and take it like a man. "You're right, baby." He folded his hands over his belly and he waited and watched for the final act of whatever she was thinking played out for him. Thinking back over the last year or so, he suddenly missed Julia Fry. He felt her absence at the oddest times. He felt the loss at the oddest times. She fretted just like Jesslyn fretted when she was trying to process why the world was so mean to her. He hadn't been around a girl with feelings in ages and wasn't used to them spouting off at the mouth about fears and anxieties and problems and a never ending search for solutions. What was clear to him was Jess didn't want answers on her own like his Julia Fry, she wanted to be told the answers. Thinking wasn't Jesslyn's strong suit. Handling shit was not Jess's strong suit. She had spent her life being protected and taken care of and it was simple.
He stood up and he took his phone and he saw the nervous side of her, thinking he was leaving and that she would be left in the house that had just been broken into all by herself. He chose to take a different route with her. Not as much for himself or for Jess, but for Layla-Kyra-Bella. He took her by the hand and he led her upstairs to her room. He reached in Louann's room on the way by and grabbed his gun and turned off the lamp. He set the gun on her bedside table, then set his hands on her, removing the tee she had on and taking off the panties. She didn't argue and she went along as he took off his clothes after hers.
"This what you want?" He asked, backing her to the bed. He kissed her, guiding her onto her back and positioning himself between her legs. "Me and you and us, here, and me taking care of you." He said, taking his dick in his hand and rubbing it over her wetness between her legs. "You wanna have a baby, be my girlfriend, have a family and have me make love to you every night?" If he wanted faithful and loyal and sane, then Jess was available. She'd been saying this for weeks and so had his parents. It took this long to hear it and process it and accept it. He would try for her and for Layla-Kyra-Bella. He thought at that moment, this was the point his mom tried to make to him through the wine buzz. He slipped inside her. "Want me to wife you and stay together, baby girl?" There were worse things in life, he believed. He did love Jesslyn. He would die for Jesslyn and when he thought of love, he thought of it in terms of death. Would he die for her, and the answer was always yes. He made the girl a promise that transcended time and space. The young sister wives had birthed this bond between all of them and he would live up to everything that bond meant to her, to him, to them. "I love you, Jess. Is that what you wanna hear, baby?"
"Yeah." She answered as he held her close to him. "All of that, Chess." He gripped her hands and intertwined his fingers in hers and he kicked the energy up between them. "I love you, Chess." She hummed into his ear.
"I know you love me, Jess."
Chess made love to his Jess and told her everything she wanted and needed to hear. The only strange thing about it was he meant the words he whispered to her. He didn't lie to Jess. He never lied to lay down with her. As their energy transferred back and forth between them, he let it happen. She didn't know any different, she never knew when he read her and the words he said weren't that big of a deal, he could say them a hundred times, but when he made love to her, connected to her, she felt the words. She knew he spoke the truth to her. Like Julia Fry before her, he let the energy exchange back and forth and if Jesslyn was on the fence about loving him, she fell face first into love whether she planned on it or not. Opening up and letting her into him would take time and trust. Jess, he learned from their connection, he could trust implicitly. She may not approve or understand his choices, but she would love him and trust him despite that.
"That was like the best ever, Chess." She said, rolling toward him and locking her arms around his neck. He was near sweating to death and tired, out of breath pleasing her, but he left her cling.
"I know." He agreed, putting his hand on her hip. He felt the bump against his abdomen, slight movements letting him know she was there too. The baby had been crooning a melody through the whole experience, which was weird. He moved his hand over Jess's belly and listened to his child. He almost allowed Jess the same luxury, but held back. Jess heard and felt her in her own maternal way that was a mystery to him as much as his way was a mystery to her. "Some times are better than others." He admitted, moving the hand over her belly to her back and to her ass. He slid her closer to him. "I thought I heard you say you could live without it, momma." He squeezed her growing ass in his hand.
"I can, but I would rather not, daddy."
"I thought I heard you say I didn't wanna touch you." She groaned a little as she hugged him. "Jess, I always wanna touch you."
"Ok, well, touch me then, but you keep going back and forth."
"I don't wanna hurt you, momma. That's all."
"Then don't hurt me." She said, holding him against her chest.
"No girls, but I can have a fuck boy." He recalled saying that. He doubted she liked the idea, understood it, or wanted to understand it.
"Do you already have one or-"
"There's someone I call when I wanna fuck, yeah. It's not something I do every day, you know."
"Oh,"
"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. It's not important right now."
"Ok,"
"I prefer pussy, Jess. Honestly, if I had to choose-"
"But I don't get it. Why do you fuck guys? If you prefer girls, then..."
"I don't fuck guys." He replied. "I have, but I typically do not do the actual fucking."
On that note, Jess stopped asking her questions. She would have more and when she did he'd answer them. Julia Fry had come the closest to satisfying his need. She had a flair for fucking him that he rather enjoyed during their year together. He was completely open with his girl in that aspect and she was in no way shy about it, she enjoyed it. He felt the need to tell her about Julia, not the intimate aspects of their relationship, but about her in general. She listened to him as he talked about her for a bit, till he thought he'd said enough.
"She was my girl. She was cool, sweet and caring. She was everything to me that I had lost with Julia, Jess." He explained. "Julia died and when she did, I am the only one left thinking about her, mourning her. I spent a year with her."
"So you're sad. I understand that. I know the difference between here and there, but I do know that both places, the relationships we form there are as serious as the ones we form here. I completely understand. I remember what it feels like to have someone in a dream and wake and feel as lost and sad as when I went to sleep."
"You still love him, Jesslyn?"
"Of course, "
"Yeah, ok. I know."
"You still thinking of Julia like that?" Jess asked.
"No," He answered.
"She grosses you out?"
"No." He laughed. She turns me on, in fact. "I love her, but I don't love her like that anymore. Same as you feel about Jay. Took a long time to get where we are now, which is no where."
"Friends."
"I guess. We're all right back where we started. It's kinda how I think it should be."
"With the originals."
"Well, actually, yes." Jesslyn had been the girl he chose himself. Through all that had happened between them and the time they spent apart equaling that of the time they had spent together, he'd come back to her. He sought her out and not the other way around. She let me...he thought to himself.
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