Once his girls were home and settled in, visitors came and went, dropping by to see Layla and check up on Jess. His family took time out of their lives to indulge baby mama and create a fuss over her, hold the baby, and drop off a meal or two. He stayed grateful they all stopped by and showed interest, but he felt left out of the celebration. He felt the family seemed dismissive of him because of his ideas and they didn't want to address his ideas. Perhaps he had waited too long. He had a feeling that things weren't going to go his way. No one asked how he was doing. No one asked if he needed anything. The only inquiries he received were about work, his suspension. Had he heard from anyone? He hadn't expected any word over a weekend about his status as a county employee or what their course of action would be.
Nonetheless, he took care of Layla and Jesslyn and withdrew to the recesses of his anxiety ridden mind. It had only been a few days, but he had stopped smoking weed. It wasn't for lack of supply, he had plenty. Part of him wanted to see if Jimmy Darth or he, himself, could work something out to reverse the suspension. If that meant cleaning himself up and thereby cleaning up his piss, then so be it. But the more he looked at the world around him through sober eyes, the more cringe he felt. He quieted, withdrew, felt strange. It dawned on him that perhaps he was depressed. He didn't feel relaxed anymore. He felt jittery, nervous, uncomfortable in his skin. The caffeine he added in weed's place only served to stir up his brain more. He suddenly couldn't sleep on top of everything else. Being a new dad with a newborn who also had sleep issues, he didn't mind the insomnia much. Infact, insomnia stopped by to visit at the perfect time. It allowed for Jess to rest, and he could dote on his favorite girl in the world. He didn't realize how attached he would be to the baby. He'd been around babies and had cared for babies sporadically over the course of his life, but to have his own little baby on his chest, breathing hot milk breath in his face elated him. A week after Layla was born, he started feeling teary eyed. Shortly after the tears developed, he started crying. While alone with Layla in the middle of the night in what he believed to be the privacy of Jesslyn's living room, he cried as much if not more than the newborn herself.
"Chess, don't you have anywhere to be?" Jesslyn asked him as she lifted the baby off his chest.
Chess switched from vertical to horizontal and pulled a blanket over him. "No." He wanted a nap now that his night shift had ended. "Where do you want me to go?"
"Well, work? Did you quit doing whatever you do?"
He pulled out his cell and opened up the bank app on his phone. He handed it to her. "We're alright." She handed it back to him, words escaping her. He opened up another app and handed the phone back to her. "We're alright." Got a garage full of supplies too, Jess. He thought as she handed his phone back to him. She waited. "What?" He asked her.
"Well, is there more or should I-"
He opened the stock app. He showed it to her. He had no clue about stocks, bonds, or how it all worked, but he paid someone to know what it all meant. "Still alright." He felt she needed reassurance. "As 'alright' as I am, you're a hundred times more alright on your own." He made a mental note to get hold of the lawyer to find out how things were going with the liquidation of her inherited estate.
"What's going on with you, Chess?" She asked him, touching his shoulder softly.
He didn't respond, started quietly crying till he cried himself to sleep.
He roused from slumber a couple hours later when Layla started squawking. He wanted to take her, but Jess shooed him away toward the steps. She told him to shower, shave, clean himself up. She tended to Layla and had her quiet by the time he returned downstairs. She prodded him again for an answer, asking what was wrong with him. He sighed, sat her down on the sofa with the baby and started another pot of coffee. Sarcasm...he thought..."Postpartum depression, Jess." Funny how you can live with someone and not have a clue what was going on inside their head. Chess felt like clueing her in, but held back for the time being. "You're still healing. Are you comfy?" He asked her, running soapy water in the sink to do the dishes. He saw the clothes basket by the laundry door. While the water ran in the sink, he loaded the washer, careful to separate out the baby clothes and linens from their own laundry. She had mentioned the baby had her own detergent.
"Chess, you're not the hired help. I can-"
He held a hand up at her and waved. "I got it. You just had the baby."
"I can do some things, Chess. You don't have to wait on us hand and foot."
He gave her an unfavorable facial expression. "I want to. Not cause I have to." He did the heavy lifting, chores, simple stuff that needed to be done. He had been trying to let her rest, sympathize with her healing and she still was in some pain. He had her focus, make a list of things they'd need or were running low on. He did suggest she could make dinner later on, but also suggested they could order out if she didn't feel up to it. He admitted he wasn't much of a chef and the meals the family brought had been eaten. She agreed she'd whip up something quick and easy.
"But you shouldn't have to. Are you in pain? Have you had anything this morning yet?"
Once the few chores had been taken care of and dinner set out to defrost, there wasn't much more to do than sit on the sofa together and hang out with the baby. Their activity amounted to watching daytime TV or Law and order. When they tired of that, they stared at Layla for a while. When she'd wake, they'd make a fuss over her, hold her, talk some nonsense to her, then lay her back in her bassinette when she drifted off to sleep again. Jess took a Percocet induced nap with Layla around 330pm, which left him wide awake, sipping coffee and playing on his phone. Around 4pm, Tavin stopped after work, letting himself through the door that they hadn't locked. He looked over the baby and Jess, then suggested they catch a smoke on the deck.
"So." Tavin started the conversation.
"So." Chess repeated, feeling kind of happy to have the company, but surprised to have Tavin standing there.
"Jess called me this morning."
"She did?" He asked, which surprised him too. "Why?" He looked over his shoulder and through the slider to the sofa. "She's ok." He said, spying her asleep on the sofa. "Is she ok? She didn't say anything." He started feeling nervous again.
"She called about you." He shrugged. "She said some stuff, um...are you ok?"
Chess detailed the days since having been home with Jess. He left out the selfish internal misery and his issues, thinking she had complained to Tavin about him for some reason. He had taken on a lot of Lay's care and he sat up with her at night so Jess could rest. He was taking her feelings into consideration and her condition and he swore that he was doing everything he was supposed to do.
"She isn't complaining." Tavin interrupted him. "She didn't call me about that." He paused. "She's worried about you. Said your sad, you won't stop crying." He spoke quietly, sounding serious and trying not to make him as uncomfortable about this conversation as Tavin felt. Of all the people Jess could have called, she chose Tavin. Chess stayed silent a minute or two. He neither confirmed nor denied, just shrugged it off. "She said you might wanna talk to someone who has, and I quote, 'been through some shit'."
"What shit you been through exactly?" Chess asked curiously.
"Julia running her damn mouth probably told her some shit after Tare was born. Kelly went in the psych ward, remember? I lost my mind for a minute. Explored my mommy issues with Julia in fact. That was fun."
"I bet."
"So," Tavin hummed. "Do you need to talk or?"
"Just got shit on my mind is all, nothing to do with her or Layla. I quit smoking weed. I haven't had a drink either."
"Fuck, you're withdrawing?"
"Probably." He answered, wondering if he smoked and drank enough to go through withdraw. "I'm fucking sober. Like a week. I replaced it with the world's worst self brewed coffee. I'm all amped up on caffeine." He chuckled a little. "I can't self-medicate and all my issues that I bury under weed, coke and a fuck ton of alcohol have taken up space in my mind. The boredom doesn't help with that either. I'm not busy right now and I planned on not being busy till she feels better."
"Oh, well that explains it then."
"I can't fuck it all away either. All my preferred coping mechanisms are...not available."
"Could have told her all that and saved me the trip."
"I don't wanna bother her. I'm trying to make this easy for her."
"Ok, well don't be mad, she just thought you would wanna talk to another dad."
"Why didn't she call my dad then? He's across the street. He's been through some shit too. I talk to my dad every day." Chess paused. "Not that I don't appreciate the chat or company that won't vomit on me or bleed near me. I haven't ever had so much conversation about a period in my life."
"So you're hands on there, dad?"
"100%, absolutely."
"So, what can I do?"
"Nothing that I can think of." Chess answered, because there wasn't anything Tavin could do. He had to make sense of everything for himself.
"Need a meeting?" Tavin asked as they head back inside Jess's house. Half joking-half serious.
"I don't think that'll help with my nerves, no. I got will power. I can control myself."
"What are you controlling yourself for exactly?"
He explained that he hadn't heard from the county or Jimmy Darth in regard to the outcome of his suspension. He feared the resolution would be similar to what they laid out for Julia with the counseling and the mandatory drug screens. He'd rather be safe than sorry and he worried aloud whether he'd started too late to clean himself up. If he were to return to the county, he could at least advise that he'd taken baby steps toward solving the problem.
"So fucking what." Tavin sighed. "Seriously? A week ago you stood your obnoxious self in my house and asked us to-" He quieted down. "Why bother if you're just gonna throw yourself on the sword and go back to killing dead senior citizens at farmer's markets?" He looked a little stunned as Tavin quieted again. He'd been the first to mention that since he'd brought it up. "You wanted to table it, got everybody thinking about it, Chess."
"No one said anything, so I figured-"
"You said Thanksgiving at your parent's house. You gave us time to think it over."
"Where's Jo then? Alex went to get him, but I figured he didn't come back-"
"You don't know." Tavin smiled. "They didn't bother you with it." He shook his head. "I knew you'd be pissed off."
"They?"
"Oh, wait till Thanksgiving. Wait till you see the fine piece he brought home. I think when you lay eyes on her, you'll know his answer."
"Who, Tavin?" Chess asked, baffled by the secrecy.
"All I'm gonna say is he loves him some royal pussy."
"Where's he at?" Chess asked, thinking if he was at Tavin's he'd drop by.
"Oh, they're in Florida." He answered. "The drama over that-let's just say, the tension is thick. Bullshit, if you ask me. Julia's pissed. Kelly is beyond pissed. Me and Jay are sitting back watching it all go down. The holiday should be interesting."
Tavin filled him in and he believed nothing could surprise him anymore. Once Tavin left, he felt grateful he had been absent and oblivious to it all. He also had a sense that Tavin would side with him since he felt so strongly about the matter. The others, though, would be a tough sell and Tavin advised him to come up with the speech and plan of a lifetime to sway the county employees. He thought back to the fortress, Jo was his right hand, but the more he talked freely with Tavin, he recalled he had started to come around, grow into the flipside self that they all once knew and loved. In order to sway Jay, he'd have to get him out from under Julia and that would be near impossible.
He had a week before Thanksgiving to come up with that speech and plan. But first he bothered his right hand, Jo. Tavin wasn't even in his car yet and he had Jo's phone ringing. "Motherfucker, what is in Florida?" Chess demanded to know once Jo answered his phone.
Jo replied one name, Antonio Freeman, and didn't have to explain any further which generation of royal snatch he had in his company. Jo was short on details but simply mentioned she had wanted to meet her dad. In order to get the girl on board with jumping to the flipside, Alex had baited her with her father's location, age, workplace, high school, general whereabouts. She'd get the once in a lifetime opportunity to immerse herself in Antonio's life for a few days. Jo could relax for a few days while she infiltrated the boy's life.
"Could have stopped by." Chess told him.
"She's pushy. When she gets something in her head, she goes with it and where she goes, I gotta go."
"Like her damn mom."
"I get paid to follow her fine ass around, Chess." Jo replied. "Threat level is low here. No one knows who she is."
Jo had stories and detailed the events as they played out for him in the future on the flipside. It was wild, but Chess listened. None of this had anything to do with him or even next gen. This was the gen that came after that. His children with Jess and Macy. The very baby who lay sleeping across the room from him played a part in what was coming, according to Jody. He heard all the facts and all the gossip. All was so much more interesting than anything the family could ever have imagined, and Jo had a front row seat for all of it. He had already told Chess he was heading back with his female companion and would claim a stake in the future in New York, not New Jersey. Chess heard the whole plan as they were in the midst of creating it. His companion had turned quite militant since her mother's death. "Once she took the time to read the books, then the damn journals that spawned the books, the plans, the secrets. She left nothing to the imagination and left out no details. She turned into this monster, the queen's daughter, the heir to the throne." Suddenly her heritage mattered, life was breathed into her and then a hatred for New York that ran through most Pennsylvanian's blood. "You, Chess, are the last item on her list. She plans on killing you and for now I'm going along with it. She doesn't know how tight we are. I will not allow that to happen. Don't worry."
"Me as in me or me as in him, the king?" Chess laughed.
"Not you currently, no. She's unarmed anyways."
"This got to do with Virginia?"
"Oh, damn." He laughed. "Kinda. But it's her thing. Pissed off about Antonio. She'll take revenge for her mom too."
"What happened in Virginia, Jo? Please tell me."
"You can read it. She brought the books home in her pack. Gonna need to burn them after, because there's some incriminating stuff in there that-"
"Ok, ok. Can't wait to read all about it." Chess couldn't wait though. "What did I do?"
"You shot and killed Jayson for leaving the fortress with her to go to Virginia. But Queen didn't conquer Virginia, Julia Fry did and you always claimed that Fry was yours alone and didn't belong to Jay. It's all bullshit, because you all share among each other, always have. After you killed him and made an example of him and then further abused Fry within an inch of taking her life too, you decided to leave her there to 'rot in hell with the dead'. Meanwhile, she switched off, wifey was told a story about him being killed by a neigh sayer in Virginia. She raised hell in Jay's name in Virginia till she found out about the baby and you had her come home. Took her to Vegas, completely brainwashed and controlled her after she gave birth to zombie baby number two. Queen never knew about you killing Jay. Never went back to the fortress. It wasn't hers to return to. The only person who ever went back to the fortress was Fry or Morgan. It's how you knew what you could do with her and how you could manipulate and treat her. If she was home, it was not the queen. Queen wouldn't set foot there. She left once, on Fry's flipside, and never went back."
Chess remained silent for once, processing all that. He hoped Julia had written down a more comprehensive timeline of events.
"The books are at the house. Julia doesn't know about them, but the guys do and it's all they're talking about while the girls are angry and plotting."
"Julia and Kelly."
"Queen is just mad because Toni arrived and left. Morgan is pissed off because I went and hooked up with her kid and I'm gonna leave her again. Fry could care less because you are the center of her little world and that's all they ever hear about. It all blew up the night after we got home. Kelly, well, I don't think she's over me yet."
"So this is all your fault, Jo."
"I think I hurt all their feelings bringing home my new girlfriend. Tia is the only one who isn't mad at me. She packed a little bag and wanted to come to Florida with us."
"You bring her?"
"Nah, she has school. The fam said no. I would have though. Gotta make it up to her when we get back next week. I'm planning a special day. Everything she likes to do, maybe an overnight somewhere special. She's still my girl, you know. I hate being away from her."
"Got a long wait for the princess, Jo."
"Don't make it sound so creepy. Weirder shit has happened, but I know where to draw the line, Chess. I can see and have the original if I want to visit Jersey. It's all good." Jody paused, tired of dishing dirt. "How's Jason from the gym?"
That question threw Chess for a loop. They never talked about his extracurricular activity. "Uh, I'm concentrating on Jess right now. So that's dead in the water." He answered honestly as Jess stirred from her nap.
"Who's that?" She asked, seeing he was on the cell.
"It's Jody." Chess answered. He handed off the phone to her when she reached for it. They had a half hour conversation and she asked whether they were done chatting. Chess nodded, "I'll see him on Thanksgiving." Jess handed him back the cell. "We should have a talk, Jess." She looked a little worried as she accepted his hand to help her off the sofa. He followed her upstairs where she closed herself in the bathroom. He took a seat on the top step and brought up Tavin's visit. He reassured her he was not upset with her, understood and explained what was going on in his head the last week. She looked relieved once she emerged from the bathroom. She saw he was being truthful. He admitted he was going to fill her in, but didn't want to bother her with it. She had other things on her mind. She walked to where he sat on the step, placed her hand on his head and scrunched his hair in her hand.
"I can be as here for you as you can be for me." She stated, reassuring him. She may not have any answers, but their relationship went both ways.
"Why Tavin?"
"Well, he's your friend and he replaced Jo." She shrugged. "You and Tavin get each other. I watched it for years. At the farmhouse, at the fortress, you two lean on each other, confide in each other. What you have with Jo, you have with Tavin when Jo's not around."
What? He was confused by that. What had she been seeing on their field trips that gave her that impression?
"You are always annoyed with Jayson for one reason or another. You're really fucking bitter about handing over Julia to him. Ray wasn't quite right for this and -"
"I could have talked to my dad." He looked up to her.
"Fuck it, Chess. Did he help or not?"
"Yeah, actually."
"Feel better?"
"Yeah, actually. Put some things into perspective, him and Jo."
"I'm gonna make us dinner."
The following day gave them their first excuse in a week to get dressed and leave the house. The baby's first doc appointment first thing in the morning where she received a clean bill of health. He verified with Jess that she felt well enough to run planned errands and she agreed she was, but wondered if they should take the baby out for any length of time. Neither knew the answer, so he dropped Jess off with his mom while Chess ran errands and then visited Tavin's house to retrieve a pile of novels. No one was home, so he welcomed himself inside and found the books in Alex's room. He flipped through the worn pages and scanned sentences. What he read, Alex shouldn't have been privy to. All their history, the beginning of hell, Caleb Downing and the stalking and the abduction, rape, murder, arson and the fallout of friendships and relationships from that was described in great detail. He flipped through another book and there was Shane Dixon's story for all to see, the details, the gang affiliations, drug running, prostitution and murders he had committed. WE DO NOT TALK ABOUT PHILLY. How many times had he told her? He was so angry. The crimes she detailed with names attached could bring him and others he knew charges in the present. It couldn't be passed off as fiction. He tucked all the books in a pack and on his way out, he had a terrifying thought. How did she remember all that? So many years in the future, how did she recall names and dates and places, details of crimes that he was having trouble remembering even though he'd committed them himself? He swore the answer was in the journals. All this info was already written for her to reference in the future. That's when he started his search, a light one that included anywhere she could stash journals and notebooks. What he searched for could all very well be stashed at the farmhouse, and if that was the case, then so be it.
He chose to take the honest route and call her. She didn't answer. He hit redial, no answer. He called Jo. "Where does she keep her journals?" Jo knew everything. That's why he hooked them up to begin with on the flipside and if he knew the flipside, then he'd know the real side too. If she trusted, then she trusted 100%. Since Jo was leaving in a week, he felt comfortable asking Jo to rat on her. "Where does your loyalty lie, Mayers?" He thought as he waited for an answer from him. Jo directed him through the house and he opened every closet, every drawer, every box he'd been directed to. "Is this everything?" He asked. Jo knew what he was doing. You gotta do this now? "Yeah, I fucking do. This...we can't have this in writing anywhere." Well, it's all in her head...she can still speak it. He felt sure he had them all and that she wouldn't go searching for them without cause. No one would and once he read through them and felt assured that what she'd written was on the up and up, then he'd return each and every one of them. It's her life, but it's not just me now. The published books not only served to tear him down, but his friend Tavin as well. She'd fixed the hell Jay put them through and saved his ass, but published secrets and private things that would have him and the brother locked up till their death. He tossed the bag of journals in the rear seat and was caught when Tavin came home.
"Are you robbing us, Chess?"
Chess held up the pack with the novels. "You didn't mention this." He growled at him.
"Didn't think it was important." He believed Toni would take the books home with her. But if Toni wanted vengeance, then the books would be the way to go in the here and now.
Chess rummaged through the pack and threw Tavin's own bio at him. "Page 80, brother." He pointed at the book. "Jesus fucking Christ, my eyes are burning from reading that."
Tavin's eyes grew wide and he closed the novel. "Shut the fuck up." He obviously hadn't read his very own book. He and Jay had only focused on the 3-part autobiography.
Chess looked around them. "I knew it, but I didn't know all of it." He pointed at the book in Tavin's hand. "Brother, the shit we are doing right now is in that book. And the rest of these books."
"I-uh-Jo brought them here." He whispered.
Lies. "Royal pussy carries them around." Chess opened the rear door on the truck and pointed at the trash bag full of journals. "He didn't bring these. She been had these. She's been writing for years, Tav. Every fucked up and not so fucked up thing we ever did."
"Chess, she's in there too. All the fucked up things she did-"
"Won't send her to prison." Chess said quietly to him. He swiped the novel out of Tavin's hand and returned it to the pack. He'd read them. It couldn't hurt knowing all the secrets that ever existed among them.
Chess spent a good portion of his night shifts with Layla reading. Jess slept and Layla slept, he quietly read all the spicy books first. He left the zombie killing and gardening for last. In those 2 publications he found the sweetest parts of his wife with the greatest of expectations and hope. They were his favorite books and he set them aside, vowing to keep them from the burn pile. The other publications he found her brutal honesty appealing. He learned so much about how she thought and her fears and her torment that she'd never put into words for him. Perhaps she had for someone else? These books would be best sellers anywhere and anytime. When she penned these masterpieces, she had worked through the hell. She tried to make sense of it all at the end. The parts that angered him were few and far between and she didn't dwell on the Philly end of things too long in any book. These publications were never meant for his eyes. Anyone who read them in the future, who would really care or complain? No one, except for those he enraged in NY. Even then, the past was the past and he learned they paid dearly for all their misdeeds. The bad blood between Pa and NY was justified. They equally fucked each other over. Both families fucked around and found out. In the end they called a truce thanks to Julia spending a night with Derek Singletary. It had been Julia Fry all along that mended fences but caused a rift among the table. Julia Fry's evil deeds surpassed that of Julia Morgan's. In fact, the entire future had been a gamble on Julia Fry's part. If she hadn't done what she did, humans would have battled humans following the human's battle with the dead. If he learned anything reading the future plan, he learned Julia Fry was young, dumb and needed that guidance from the table. When she acted on her own, she needed help, their people lost people. She needed the written instruction. She couldn't think outside the box. She could not act on her own on their behalf. She couldn't measure up or play the part. Morgan on the other hand served to be a suitable, ruthless, cajoling, evil, mean and grudge holding temporary replacement. Julia Fry would always defer to the people around her, specifically Jayson. Morgan would act to benefit the people and hold the people in high regard. All swore loyalty to Jayson Keller and then to his memory. Chess had very little to do with anything in her life. He only reaped the benefits once Jay had been killed...by him. Jealousy, Julia had told him, was the strongest of human emotions. He loved his wife. He would do anything for his wife. All the Julia's he considered his wife, then once Jay was eliminated, they became his property. His only question had been, where was the original Julia during all this historical bullshit she wrote about? She merely penned the books, gathering info from all the written journals. She'd experienced and lived so little of it herself. Where had she been? Chess' mind wondered where she had holed up? She definitely pulled strings in the background. Had she been infiltrated by Fry and Morgan so much that she was off elsewhere? Or just a body housing the parasites?
He was not a quick reader. He admitted to just about everyone that he only read one book throughout his entire life but now added a pile more in a week's time. He'd spent so much time reading and learning that he hadn't accomplished a damn thing regarding the plan or speech of a lifetime. He needed more time and since Jo was checking out, he decided to give himself till Christmas. He would go on hiatus, figure things out, formulate his business and let the pieces fall into place. He even considered and had registered for school, taking the CDL route like his dad did. He was revolted at the course his family had taken in a zombie apocalypse and wondered if he even cared about that anymore. He'd deal with it when the time came, keep his girls alive and live on their own. He didn't want anything to do with it. 2 weeks clean, he cut back the coffee and started drinking water. As Jess healed, he took to the gym, then cut out Jason as well.
He'd gone through every single journal. There were no surprises there. He would return them in one piece to their author. When they agreed to not talk about Philly, she heeded that request. She knew better. He was grateful for that. Where that information was stored, hopefully on the flipside, he was unsure. He knew for a fact it wasn't with them in real time. If he learned anything from the books, it was that none of the Julia's wished to be anyone's property. Thanksgiving would come and be a celebration of Layla Louann Morgan, a memorial to Louann Gilligan, and a sendoff for Jody Mayers. No table, no drama. Just family and fun. He would have an in-person conversation with one or all Julia's for them and for his own sanity. Then she would hopefully have a few conversations of her own with the people that needed to hear her voice. He wanted to write a whole new chapter. He chose to set her free, thereby setting everyone free.
Mom made Thanksgiving extra special this year. She decorated. Mom usually cooked and made a feast worth eating for the family. Whoever arrived to take part could do so. But she never made a splash like this year. Her granddaughter took center stage. Louann's egg also made the centerpiece at the unofficial table. Mommy cooked. Mommy drank wine. Mommy made the entire day special. No one had to lift a finger. She started early in the morning and she seemed invested in making this a memorable, happy occasion. She wanted her baby. She dressed Layla in the most Thanksgiving outfit available on amazon. She fussed and held and rocked and seemed happy. Chess spent time with his dad and Ray. He stocked enough alcohol for the entire alcoholic family. Then he waited nervously for people to arrive. Then he realized he didn't care if anyone showed up.
Early afternoon the family settled in. Mommy invited Karen and Cal. The entire table arrived sporadically. Jay dropped off Shy at the in-laws and mentioned Hayley's dad wanted to chat about zom proofing the house. Since Hay had come to her senses and brought herself and the granddaughter home, he was vested in keeping the small family safe from undead harm. Chess made note to call Hay's parents and set up a time to zom proof. What that meant he wasn't sure, but Jay mentioned Hay's dad was a fan of all the zombie proofing gadgets he saw advertised on FOX News. He also made note that a consulting leg of his future business needed to be established with guidelines and professionals because parents and grandparents needed a plan of action to keep their homes unbreeched and their families untouched. Whether that meant fire arms or metal bars, he was unsure. He'd have to go on a case by case assessment. He grabbed his notebook and jotted down the thoughts he had.
He spied Julia by the cooler, sipping a wine cooler. He indicated there was vodka on the counter if she wanted a stronger drink. She declined. He hadn't had one yet. He wanted a clear mind for the conversation he was about to have. He'd already told Jayson he wanted to chat with her, so while jay occupied himself with Jess and held Layla, Chess invited Julia and her wine cooler to the deck.
"I have a confession to make." He admitted as he leaned against the railing. His eyes scanned the yard, glancing at the covered pool across the yard below. Every time he looked at that pool he remembered taking her ring off and letting her run with Tavin. Why'd he ever permit that? He knew he was leaving, knew she was a mess and would need someone. Left to her own devices...he'd found a suitable babysitter since Jay was deep in Jesslyn at the time.
"A confession. Should be interesting, Chess. What's up?"
He refocused his eyes on her as opposed to the pool. He told her about the books Toni brought home in her pack. He told her he'd read them. She didn't seem to care, shrugging it off. He had the books back in Toni's pack and would hand them over to her whenever she and Jo showed up. They weren't his to keep or burn, but he would inquire as to whether he could keep the gardening and zom killing reference books. Queen didn't seem bothered by his admission. He got a 'so what' feel from her. He then explained that there were details of their lives in those books that shouldn't be in their current time laying around. He added he'd taken her journals on top of the books, then apologized and had stacked them in a small tote to take home.
"I didn't bring the books here and till a couple minutes ago didn't know Toni had. What's that got to do with me?"
"That's all your journals." This confession pissed her off, but she nodded and said Jay would haul it to the car. "Why keep them at all?"
"Why take them at all? If you would have asked me-"
"I did call you and you never answer."
"Sorry about that." She whispered.
"So after you offed yourself we sat at the cabin me and you and Jo and we talked at the table."
"Yeah." Queen and Fry hadn't been present for that chat. Morgan straightened up at the mention of their conversation. "Is this where you tell me you thought of how I owe you?"
"No. No. I haven't given much thought to that lately. I haven't really been given a reason to either."
"Then what are you getting at?"
"The ring. I put it in a safe deposit box at the bank. I don't know what to do with it and giving it to you with that monstrosity on your finger wouldn't make any sense. But it means something to us and it's safe in there."
"Thanks, I guess." She replied skeptically. He turned out his pockets, indicating he didn't have the ring on him. She didn't need the display, but let him carry on. "Are you alright, Chess?"
"Yeah," He answered. "When I call, you have to answer." He stated in a blasé, matter of fact way. "Why don't you answer?" He paused, giving her a moment to think. "You are required to answer or is that something you do on purpose to get a rise out of me?"
"Well, she-"
"Not she. You." He raised his voice, knowing which person he spoke to. "You are required to answer my phone calls and you are also required to fullfill any whim I have. Otherwise, you're not holding up your end of the bargain, which gets you in trouble, right?"
"Technically." She answered, looking down at her feet. "But-"
He cut her off. "What am I supposed to do here?" He smiled, seeing she became nervous. "There's one of you in there that would jump at the chance." He poked her belly with his finger.
"What do you want from me? Leave the county? Go with you after everything we, including you, have worked for?"
"I kinda think that you have to, Julia. Without me even asking." He reminded her. "But I haven't come to any conclusions or clarity yet on the matter, so I want to pause the table meeting till Christmas."
"We all have to come back on Christmas?"
"Nah, any table will do. I'm not ready. I been busy with Jess and Lay, so I'm a bit behind."
"Ok. That all you wanted?" She asked, stepping away from him.
"There's more." He replied quickly, which made her step back into place. He waited till she looked at him. She'd been avoiding eye contact for a reason. Misbehaving little...woman... Her eyes met his and he had to say it before he chickened out. He already had taken steps toward their complete separation. "I'm letting you go and I'm releasing you-us from the clause that we've created to rescind." He had learned a little something in the books. By the time he got to the only self help book she'd written for the future females of the world, he had in fact discovered how Julia, herself never had to be involved with him or return to the fortress. That simple sentence released her from the obligation and also released him from any obligation.
"I agree." She nodded.
"Honestly, the only agreement I will honor is the original agreement." He announced as he heard Layla's squawking cry through the closed door. He peered inside and saw several people moving toward the baby so he felt safe he was off dad duty till they got home and his night shift could resume.
"Obviously." She smiled, looking the baby's direction as well. She separated from him, heading back into the Morgan family home. She spied Jay chatting with Uncle John and she thought truly about leaving the house at that moment in time. If it hadn't been that Jo and Toni had Tatia, she would have left with her tote. Jayson noticed she'd come back in the house. He joined her at her side.
"Everything ok?" He asked, taking the empty wine cooler and fetching her another. He took the lid off and then handed it to her.
"Jayson." She smiled, thinking over what Chess had just told her outside. She gazed up at him, waiting for his big brown eyes to catch hers. He smiled. "I'm letting you go and I'm releasing you from the clause that I've created to rescind."
"You're coming home with me though, right?"
"Of course, Jay." She smiled. She glanced around him and saw Jess chatting with Candace. She left Jay and took a seat next to her sister wife. "I'm letting you go and I'm releasing you from the clause that I've created to rescind."
"A little late for that, Julia." Jess giggled.
"Needed to be said." She argued. "Chess has indicated he'd like to continue to abide by the original agreement. Under the right conditions, Jay and I will agree."
"What's that even mean?" She asked, crossing her arms over her chest.
Why must I explain everything to her? "Wifey, you do recall the original agreement among the 4 of us?"
"Oh that. Yes, fine. I agree to it."
"Have you seen Tavin?"
"He just went out with Chess to smoke."
Julia picked herself and her wine cooler up and returned to the deck. She plucked a cigarette from Tavin's pack and he lit it for her. "Hey, Chess, we agree, under the right conditions, to honor the original agreement. Thought you'd wanna know."
"Didn't tell you to ask around, but thanks for taking care of that."
"I didn't ask Jay, but getting him on board won't be an issue." She turned to Tavin. "Hey, Tav. Um, I'm letting you go and I'm releasing you from the clause that I've created to rescind."
Chess burst into laughter as surprised by the statement as Tavin was. "What the fuck are you talkin' about, Red?" He asked, baffled as they never created such an agreement.
"Repeat it for me, please. Just say it so I know you know the words-" Julia whined. Tavin repeated that nonsense aloud for the three of them to hear. "Thanks, now go tell that to Kelly."
"I'll think about it. What's the original agreement?"
"If you gotta ask, then you're not invited." Chess advised him.
The entire atmosphere inside the Morgan home had shifted. The dissolution of a years' old pact was lifted and the tension they didn't know existed, ceased. Four connected souls stood as individuals with free will again. They went to Sandy's table and took seats with their family. They put forth an effort to have a peaceful holiday. Christmas music played on Alexa. A football game on TV. Drinks and conversation about Layla and memories of Louann. Tavin had a quiet chat with Kelly, then joined the rest of the family at the table. They took seats aside each other and then joined the conversation.
