Wednesday, February 3, 2021

Chapter 18-Life Or Death

Chess sat on the deck in the dark. Freezing cold, he swore he'd grown accustomed to it. He'd normally layer clothing for any length of time he spent outside, but he only head out for a joint. A couple, maybe three drags to cloud the thoughts he had in his head. He didn't want to get fucked up. He didn't get fucked up a lot anymore. He'd dabble here and there. The more he thought about it, he wondered what drugs other than years worth of pot were in his system. Since his injury at the local mini mart he'd only smoked weed. A line of coke a couple times to stay awake. He'd had a few 24 hour days here and there. The coke had to be out of his system. He wasn't exactly soaked in pot either. Staying alert didn't include getting good and stoned. He'd take a couple hits to level out his mood or keep his brain from traveling in a dozen different directions. 
Jimmy Darth was not pleased. The brass and bosses at County were not pleased. He had a suspension handed to him and then had no intention of making excuses or explaining anything. His parents were disappointed, but his dad was optimistic, reminding him that he made money and took care of things before any county job. Whatever he did, dad didn't want to speculate and assumed it had something to do with the military, some 'top secret stuff' similar to the farmhouse days. "Believe the lies, but don't talk about it." His father said. 
"Yeah, dad, I'll do that." Chess shrugged. 
But optimism had been lost on Chess. For a minute he truly thought about going legit. No more lies you can't talk about, no more envelopes delivered to him with names. No more drugs or guns or activity that young, new fathers didn't get caught up in. A normal job with taxable paychecks and responsibility. A normal life. He'd spent so long living on the fringes of normal and peering in, he'd forgot what normal was. Had he ever had normal? 
He hadn't confided any of this news to Jess yet. He chose to hold off till she was home with Layla and settled. He wanted her comfortable and didn't want to bother her with his problems. It could wait another day, he believed. Then he got the phone call from Julia on his way out of the hospital to meet up with Jason, "Chess, you're gonna have to mention it. It's on the news." He turned himself around and trudged back to maternity, back to her room, made himself comfortable. 
"You mean to tell me you got fired?" She sighed. 
"Suspended. I had to tell you before you heard it on the news."
"Ok. So what? You got your side stuff."
"That's what my dad said."
"Plus you didn't wanna do it anyway. There's that." 
That took him by surprise. "I did. I told you I wanted to go legit. Do something I can be proud of that I know how to do."
"And you also said you wanted to be independent. Mommy's funeral. You had it all planned out. You didn't like where the county was headed to begin with. All you do is complain about it. Do it yourself." 
"I'm not fired yet. Only sus-"
"You're making excuses."
"You make it sound easy."
"I was kinda looking forward to working in the office with Kelly." She smiled. 
The office...he laughed to himself. He had ideas. 
"Talk to Julia. She's got it all worked out." 
"She does, does she?" He rose from his chair, expecting something a little more different to have gone down when he told her the news. He left her feeling better than he thought he would. He kissed her forehead, patted her hair, kissed a snoozing Layla that laid on her chest. "Love you." He added. 
"Love you too." She smiled.
Chess called Julia on his way out of the hospital lot. True to form, she didn't answer. He dialed Alex, no answer. Two for two. He dialed Jason, who actually answered the phone. He was waiting for him. And then he canceled. "Got shit to do." Chess said. "If it falls through, and it might, I'll call you back."
Jason wasn't pleased, but figured it had to do with baby stuff. Baby trumps boyfriend. Work trumps boyfriend. There was always an excuse. Chess was honest with Jason. When work or something interfered with their hook up, he gave him the truth. Why lie? If whatever was going on wasn't going on, Chess made time for him. He had for a few months. "If I don't lie to my girlfriend, why would I lie to my boyfriend?" He mumbled. 
"Hmm, boyfriend. Since when-"
"You know what I mean. I gotta go." He ended the call before that discussion took place. Pulling up to the curb in front of Tavin's house, the place was bright and there was activity. He could see thru the window clearly and they could have all answered the phone. He welcomed himself inside. The place was a circus of people all ages. A general disarray to things. Boxes in the living room. 
"Hey, Chess. Everything ok?" Julia asked as his arrival was out of the ordinary. He normally didn't show up out of the blue anymore. 
"Just fine. I called, no one answered." He stated, pulling Shy from the stationary bouncer on the floor. "You moving?" He joked. 
"Tatia wants to start decorating." She sighed. "Dragging boxes from the attic. She has everyone up there." Julia pointed to the stairs. 
"A little early." 
"No doubt." 
Tavin carried the large box with the tree down the steps and set it on the floor. Jay followed suit with Alex and the last of the boxes. Tatia had been watching in the hall. 
"You lost? What's up?" Tavin asked him curiously. Chess was the last person he'd expected to see. 
"Getting in some practice?" Jay asked motioning to Shy. 
"So why are you here?" Tavin repeated, sitting back on the couch with the remote. 
"Oh, remember when Jess's mom died and we went out to dinner and I said we should start a business?"
"Yeah, so. She did that, remember?" 
"I recall the county set up something, yeah." He replied. 
"And now you wanna do the business because you got fired?" Jay asked, going to the kitchen. He pulled a water bottle from the fridge. 
"I got suspended, not fired." He replied quickly. He explained he'd been to see Jess, what she said and went on to direct him to Julia.
"So you want the binder?" Jayson asked. 
"There's a binder?" He laughed. Of course there's a binder and directions and thoughts and instructions and contingencies...why not?
"Chester, there's a plan B and it's not time." Julia stated, opening up a box. 
"I know it's not time right now." He replied looking over the pile of boxes that held Christmas inside. "I need Jo anyway." He added, looking directly at Alex. 
"Jo for what?" She asked.
"I work with Jo. Independent means cash and cash means I get Jo back and into this." He responded honestly. Jo was his partner. He and Mayers developed a friendship/relationship/partnership over the last year in this world and the flipside. "I think it is time. You-" He pointed at Julia. "Your face, your reputation, the public loves you, Goddess. Where you go, I think they'll follow."
"I didn't get fired, dear." She responded coldly. He nearly spoke and she held up her hand to him. "Suspended." 
"Either way, I think-"
"Not quitting my job, Chess." She cut him off. She started placing Christmas decorations on the counter as Tatia handed them to her from the box. "I just got my job, Chess."
"You can still have your job, Julia. Only it'll be with us."
"Us, Chess?" Jay asked. "I cleaned my piss up for this job. What the fuck? It's legit. It's something we can do and have a pension and benefits and a pay check."
"I don't wanna be involved in any of this." Tavin spoke up as he turned on the TV. 
"Alex." 
"I'm in." He said, leaning on the counter. 
"Child please." Julia hissed at him. 
"I'll give you some time to process it and go over your binder." 
"I can recite the binder, which I will give to you and-"
"Woman, please. Don't argue with me."
"We're not on the flipside and I am not yours to be told what to do." Julia raised her voice. "I'm not your property." 
"Can we please act like civilized adults for once?" Chess asked calmly, knowing she was baiting him. Which one, he was unsure. All the Julia's had reason to. He wasn't biting. 
"Civilized." She repeated the word aloud. 
"I think the table should sit down and discuss it. Pro's and con's. We'll work it out like we always do." 
They stared oddly at him. 
"Like we always do." She repeated aloud.
"I realize that this is sudden and you're all a bit confused. I'm sure if we all sit, we'll clear up that confusion and we'll have something that's-we already have something."
"Balls, Chess, you got some balls." Jayson snickered from the counter. "I'll give you that much."
"What did I do?" He sighed, rocking Shy against his chest. "Don't answer that please." His mind churned the many instances they could cite. Since Jo was not present to speak, he looked to Tavin. "Tav, man, tell them." 
"Ok, I haven't had much time to think about it."
"Exactly, none of us has."
"Why all of a sudden? I mean, cause you're out, you want the rest of us to drop everything we started and start something else entirely."
"Maybe it's a sign from the universe? I wasn't meant for the red tape and the bull-"
"Kids here." Tavin mumbled.
"Crap. And then when I talked to Jess, she said that we should do our own thing. Like we originally intended to do."
"She wants her office job." Julia laughed.
"Yes, her and Kelly." He added. "We had this planned-"
"You did and we all went our own directions and it never got off the ground. Now something is off the ground, you wanna pull up stakes and roll out." 
"Yes." He replied. "We should sit."
"When?" 
"Whenever we have Jody here."
"Well, when's that?" Julia asked. "Won't answer a text or a call." 
Chess glanced at Alex and he shrugged. "Haven't heard from him." 
"Alex, where is Jody?" Julia asked. She looked at him and studied his face as he thought about the answer, which didn't come quickly enough for her. Julia felt sure one of these people knew where he was. She never thought Alex would be the one who knew.
He shrugged it off for her like he had for Chess. "I don't know." 
Julia set the decoration on the counter and then extended a hand to him. He wouldn't take it. "Liar. Where is he?"
"He's finding himself." Alex answered. "He talked to all of you before he left."
"And he confided in you as opposed to him." Julia aimed a thumb at Chess.
"Not necessarily." 
"Not important right now. Can you message him and tell him what's up and we figured some things out?"
Alex grinned. "Doesn't work like that." 
"Alexander, what did you do?" She asked. "Maybe the table should sit." 
"No," Chess replied. "All of us not some of us." 
"Alex, what did you do?" Jay asked curiously. "You do something with Jo?"
"Where did you drop him off?" Julia asked curiously. She looked at Tavin. "Where's he at, Tav?"
"He went home, Julia. Geeze. He went home." 
"What if he doesnt want to leave?"
"Go get Jody." Tatia said, pulling another box open. "I miss my companion."
"Yes, please. If he chooses to stay, then he makes us understand and we all have a proper goodbye."
"What point in time did you drop the guy off, Jo?" 
"Peacetime."
"But Tia is-"
"Why do you think it's all about Tia? He understands her situation." Alex argued. "This is why he didn't discuss this with you. You'd try to keep him and he can make his own decisions."
"You made the decision." 
"He came to me cause I could give him a ride." 
"Moving on." Tavin rose his voice. "Find Jo and when he comes home, we'll sit."
"Thanks, brother." Chess said, handing Shy to Jay. "She smells." He thought a moment. "How about Thanksgiving? Can we have him home for that? We'll do it at Mommy's."
"She never cooked for our table." Julia complained. 
"She's thrilled about Lay's first Thanksgiving. Has an outfit. A bib. She's got all her own stuff for the baby. She's obsessed. Plus she wants to have a little memorial for Louann. She's got a special place setting for the egg." 
"Oh my God." Julia laughed. 
"Tell me about it." He said, feeling the cell buzz in his pocket. He pulled it and glanced at the time. It was still early. He texted quick with Jason, then stuffed the cell back in his pocket. "Alright. I'll let mommy know to add all of you in."
"Let me know if she wants me to bring anything."
"K. Thanks." He smiled. 
"Where ya headed, Chess?" Julia grabbed her cigarettes from the counter and head out with him. 
"To see a friend." 
"Did you tell her yet?" Julia asked as she walked him to the truck. 
"She knows I got a guy I call. That's all."  
"Different day and age, I'd tag along cause your Jay is fine as fuck." She remarked, lighting her cigarette. 
He laughed, "Your own Jay is fine as fuck." 
"Well, have fun."
"Always." He smiled as he climbed into the truck to drive off to Jason Petrillo. 
As the smoke filled his lungs on the cold deck, he left his mind calm the hell down. Thoughts of the day, Jess and Layla, a suspension, a family business, a lover filtered out of his head. He closed his eyes, saw the dark. I should go get him myself...he thought. There was a short list of energy he held at all times. He focused on the darkness, felt the stinging tingle in his extremities, which gave him the heebie jeebies. He literally shook it off. That tingling creeped him out. He lit the joint and took another two hits. Definitely not calm enough. He felt terrified. He shut his eyes again and focused on the darkness, his heart rate slowed then picked up again as he felt the stinging tingle. It had dulled. He remained with two feet on Jesslyn's deck, but his mind extended and put out feelers. He couldn't explain this to himself any more than he could anyone else. It felt neither safe nor harmless. The tendrils of another person's energy grew from the part of his brain that held the ability, the knowledge, the truth. The energy's signature stretched over his brain like a tight fitting cap. He truly wasn't moving, but felt the disintegration of the stuff that made up humans dissolving. 
He felt another's energy near to him, wrapping around him. The energy was stronger, bolder, more confident. Cocky. He had his way and everyone else with the gift had their own. Who is that? 
"Let me do this." Alex catapulted his energy away and he felt the instantaneous integration of matter. Short of breath, he opened his eyes, lit the joint, took another puff. "Amateur." He heard in the distant recesses of his own mind, but definitely Alex's voice. 
Carry on, then, kid. 
Chess moved on with his evening. Late it was, he climbed the steps to the bedroom. He stood in a maroon colored room awash in sunflower border. We have got to get out of here soon or redo this room. He pulled his 9mm from his holster and set it on the table beside the bed. He stripped to the thermals he wore and climbed into an empty bed. He could smell her on the pillows. He texted Jess, knowing she was feeling emo in that hospital bed of hers. In the morning she'd be released and he'd have his females home and alongside him. He wasn't a fan of leaving her and the baby in the hospital, leaving their lives in the hands of others. Knowing they had no plan in place other than a phone call and waiting out an incident kept his mind awake. Should anything happen, he'd instructed her what to do. Should anything happen, depending on the team that was still in place was the plan. That team amounted to his ex and his cousin. They were on call. He didn't doubt their ability or their love for his two hospital patients. 
I am all nerves. 
He sent another text and waited a few minutes before he redressed. He tucked a knife in the sheath on his hip over his thermals. He dressed in his jeans and hoodie. He laced up his boots, put his 9mm back in his holster. Hopping in the truck, he lit a cigarette and by the time the butt was extinguished he was parked in Mav General's lot. He entered through the ER, showing the guard his maternity bracelet. He was stopped briefly as the guard scanned the bar code on his bracelet. 
"Didn't you leave not too long ago?"
"Yeah,"
"First time dad." He nodded. "I can tell." The guard nodded toward the double doors as he pressed the button that opened to the hospital hall. He followed the path to the elevator, hopped on and rode to the 3rd floor. He went through the same bracelet scan on the maternity ward entrance where he was also given entry. He wound his way to the room where he found his girls fast asleep. Jess's phone had the unread message notifications on the screen. He rolled the baby between him and the hospital bed and took a seat in the chair by the window. He left his pistol holstered and his knife sheathed. Funny how they scanned his bracelet, but allowed him entrance without a weapon check. Not even a wand scanned over his clothing. Chess felt better as he leaned his head back on the chair and closed his eyes. 
Shortly after midnight they were woken by the nurse. She identified herself, wrote her name on the board, badge clearly in sight. She woke Jess, did an assessment and documented on a laptop that was on wheels. Asked 100 questions, laid hands on her, checked her panties. Asked her about pain and then dosed her with percocet. She was sore. She then moved onto Layla who had woken and did an assessment on her as well. All seemed well as she handed Jess the baby and watched as she fed the baby. Gave some instruction on latching on and feeding. Jess listened sleepily. Got a fucking garage of formula, Jess...he thought. Once Jess had Layla firmly latched onto her right breast, the nurse reminded the first time parents to call her with any questions or concerns, if they needed supplies...for anything really...she was a button's press away. 
"Thank you. We will." Jess told her. 
When Layla had her fill, detached, Jess handed her to Chess who willingly wanted to help. He changed her, swaddled her and rocked her. She fell back to sleep and Chess held her while she slept, smelling so good like all babies do. 
Jess laid on her side while the percocet took effect and watched Chess be a dad. She mentioned his return. She mentioned she was grateful.  She mentioned that she hadn't wanted him to depart in the first place, but hushed him when he tried to give her some speech about saying something, anything, that he would have certainly stayed put. "To watch us sleep." She said softly. 
"If that is what you wanted, yes." He sighed, placing Layla in her bassinette. They peered at her a few minutes, making sure she stayed asleep, then he moved on to Jess. He helped her out of bed and to the bathroom. He set her on the potty and was shooed away although he would have helped her out too. 
"Want some ice?" He asked. 
"And new panties and maybe a towel and a cloth and-" Her list, he memorized. 
He hit the call button, the nurse returned and Chess rattled off Jess's list. He asked the nurse if she could shower or should she wait till they were home. The nurse stated she could and returned with everything Jess asked for and more. He ran her shower, letting the warm water steam the room. Chess took the supplies to her and helped her toward the shower even though she objected. 
"Wash, you'll feel better, warmer, relaxed." He hushed her. He helped her off with her gown, walked her to the shower stall. He handed her the soap and the stuff she brought from home. "How do you feel?" He asked as he waited for her to finish.
"Sore and swollen." She replied. 
"Shit yet?" He asked her.
"Not yet." She answered without even a second thought about the question he asked. "They gave me a softener, but...she said I'm taking narcs, so it may take a while to get moving so to speak."
Once she finished, he walked her to the room where he dried her off and she let him. He helped her with her fishnet undies and she adjusted the pad inside them. He put the gown on her and tied it in the back, covering her. The room was warm already and she said she felt better as he set her on the bed, high on 2 tablets of percocet. He unfolded the towel from her head, wrung out her hair, brushed out the locks and then tucked her back in her bed. 
"Arent you hot? Take the hoodie off."
"Hoodie hides the gun and the knife." He replied, returning to his side of her bed. He pulled the cord on her light above her bed. The light from across the room left them in a dim flourescence that allowed for rest. 
"Alrighty then." Jess said.
"You know the times we live in, Jesslyn." People die regularly in hospitals. He couldn't think of a more important place to sit till she was discharged. 
"I do. Thank you. Don't think that hasn't crossed my mind. Thanks for coming back." She paused and adjusted under the sheet and blanket. He held her hand once she got settled. "So where did you go?"
"You know where I went." He stated, head resting back on the chair and eyes closed. 
"Wanna tell me about him please, Chess?" 
Two percs amounted was the equivolent of how much vodka? "No. Not here and not now. This is not the proper time and place." 
"Is there ever a proper time and place?" 
"Jason." Chess stated after a few minutes silence.
"What about him?" She asked, stirring from the dulling of percocet.
"His name is Jason." 
"Oh, maybe you can get a matching tattoo?" She suggested sarcastically. 
He would have mine...Chess thought. "You've met Jason." Chess announced suddenly. "We were at lunch after the last doctor appointment. He was there with his sister. I know him from the gym."
"Oooh, Chess, he was fine. Baby, he was just so handsome. And pleasant and kind and nice-"
"He went there on purpose to make a scene and then met you and he liked your personality. You were warm and happy and he wouldn't hurt your feelings."
"Oh, well-uh-"
"Jesslyn, tell me to stop seeing him." Chess ordered. "He is supposed to be the guy I call if I wanna get off and he's a little more than that."
"Oh, Chess, I-"
 "Jesslyn, I am telling you to end it for me." 
"We should meet him."
"I have met him, honey." 
"This is a conversation we should move to the back burner. We should step back, think and have this conversation again in the future."
"He's not into girls." Chess warned her, erasing any idea of any interaction based on how hot Jason Petrillo was or ever could be.
"Chess Morgan. Do you love him?"
Chess groaned uncomfortably. "He's cool."
"Do you have feelings for Jason?" 
Chess groaned again.  
"Did you leave me to make love to him?" 
Chess groaned again...This is a nightmare. This isn't happening.... "No." He replied. He cancelled. He left for "Julia's house. I went to Julia's." 
"Oh, the family business. Did you speak to them?"
"I did. Alex is fetching Mayers." 
"So before you had the idea about going to Julia's, did you plan on seeing Jason?"
"Are you asking me questions you already know the answers to? Tell me to stop seeing him, Jess. It's that simple."
"Are you close enough to make him part of our family?" She asked, squeezing his hand in hers. "In terms of life or death."
"No." He answered. Not in terms of life or death. 

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Chapter 18-Life Or Death

Chess sat on the deck in the dark. Freezing cold, he swore he'd grown accustomed to it. He'd normally layer clothing for any length ...